1. The closeted actors would freak over playing gay
2. Wed want to be the ones wearing the fabulous clothes
3. No daytime diva could compete with a drag queen
4. The drama onscreen would be nothing compared to our own lives
5. We would need to claim amnesia every time we slept with someone we regretted
6. Our sexual prowess would pale in comparison to that of the other characters
7. Susan Lucci is already Susan Lucci
