Dove Cameron, the multi-talented singer and actor from Hairspray Live!, Schmigadoon, and The Descendants movies, posted a tear-filled message on Instagram yesterday detailing her struggles with dysphoria and identity.
“The self is someone I feel I have always deeply known, someone I deeply love and protect, like my own child. I know this self and we are very close. For me, identity and the self have always been diametrically opposed, and there has only ever been room for one at a time to occupy my life,” she wrote. “I have never been able to make them hold hands, and I realize as I get older, it’s because I hold a deep seeded belief that who I am is wrong, I am not allowed to be just as I am, I am not meant to be here. I feel I must be something else if I am going to be allowed to be here. And I really do wanna be here with you.”
“More days than not, I feel pulled towards no identity at all, I feel most natural as something imperceivable to myself, an energy and a presence,” she continued. “I don’t know if I will ever be able to live as this, if I will ever find a rhythm in this job where perception is one of the major cornerstones.”
She also added some thoughts about how she’s feeling about gender.
“I’ve been struggling lately with the concept of self, my inner relationship to who I know myself to be and my outer perceivable self who I feel I have never known but other people seem to,” she said. “I’ve been covering mirrors lately, I’ve been feeling wrong in clothing that used to make me feel beautiful lately, sometimes terrorized by my identity and image, sometimes in absolute flow with something new and peripheral and joyous to me.”
“What I am choosing to say is I am in process, I’m investigating, I’m struggling more than half of the time and I’m trying to maintain a quiet non-judgmental curiosity rather than punish myself for not knowing what I’m feeling or where I’m going,” she continued.
Cameron is one of our favorite people.
She’s a stunningly talented artist and performer and, since publicly coming out, has been a loud and proud voice for the queer community. Her newest song “Boyfriend” has empowered the lesbian and sapphic community so much this year, and hopefully, she can feel some of that strength and confidence soon.
No matter what this post was about, we hope Cameron can find some peace in her identity soon. Hopefully, she’ll have all the freedom and support she needs in exploring her identity and gender.