Nico Tortorella just gave fans a glimpse into their queer polyamorous marriage as well as their relationships with others. In a revealing interview with Attitude, they explained how their life is not defined by gender normative concepts but by love, loyalty, and exploration.
"I think that my own understanding of the binary of sexuality and the binary of gender has transitioned over the years,” Tortorella said, explaining they now try to educate others on the nature of their queerness rather than talk about “who I am with my family.”
Tortorella is married to non-binary and gender fluid activist and entrepreneur Bethany C. Meyers. Although they tied the knot officially in 2018, the pair have been friends and more for almost 15 years after having met during college. Their relationship is at its core one of affirmation and loyalty.
“I mean, Bethany’s my best friend and we have been through a ton of shit together,” Tortorella said.
According to Tortorella, their relationship with Meyers has been the anchor in both their lives.
“We were the first people to really see each other in our entirety, and it definitely made me question a lot of things,” they explained. Throughout the years, Meyers “was just always there. There was this loyalty that never went away, no matter how far apart we were. No matter how long we had been dating someone else or how long we were living in a different state or country, for that matter, the other person [Meyers] was always there and it was fucking beautiful then, and it’s fucking beautiful now.”
While the pair are openly exploring their sexuality with others separate from the marriage, Tortorella was adamant that “it’s not the case” that they have a swinging lifestyle with plenty of indiscriminate partners.
“I am kind of a serial monogamist in my polyamory,” Tortorella went on. “I’ve explained this term before, but it’s a lot of fancy words jumbled together for, I love dating one person at a time. I’m married, yes, but I love dating one person at a time. I have a partner in LA that I’ve had for a long time, but I’m not his only partner; he’s not my only partner."
Tortorella noted they don’t necessarily understand the complete nature of their sexuality and gender, but that they are learning as they go along.
"We don’t have all the answers, but we’re going to figure it out,” they said.