For years, I’ve happily embraced my role as the “fun uncle.” You know the type — the one who’s always up for an adventure, ready with a laugh and maybe just a little bit extra. I used to think that role was just about the fun, the gifts, and being the cool uncle. But as I’ve navigated the adoption process, I’ve realized it was actually the most rewarding training ground for becoming a father.
My nieces and nephews — who range from ages 4 all the way up to 25 — have been my absolute rock. They’ve been my biggest cheerleaders from day one, constantly telling me, “Uncle Stephen, you’re going to be such an amazing daddy.” Whenever I’ve had a moment of doubt, they’ve been the ones reminding me of the things I sometimes take for granted: that I’m the guy who always shows up on time, that I’m always there for my godchildren, and that, yes, my cooking skills are actually pretty solid! They saw the dad in me long before I did.
Stephen playing with his niece and nephewCourtesy
I’m so lucky to have grown up with my parents, Nora and Alfie, as my blueprint. And watching my sisters, Natasha and Ashlie, raise their own beautiful kids — Taylor, Brooke, Xanthe, and little Bodie — has taught me that, at the end of the day, a home is simply a place where love is the main ingredient.
One of the most special moments in this whole journey was reading what my niece, Taylor Dowding, wrote for me as a letter of recommendation during my adoption process. It was a bit of a “pinch me” moment, and her words reminded me why I’m on this path to fatherhood:
“When thinking about a father figure role, I admire the sheer strength and determination that my uncle Stephen has taught me. He has taught me to be honest, strong, and moral, which leads me to believe he would make the most wonderful parent.
“My Uncle Stephen possesses all of the qualities which would make him a good parent. He is gentle but firm, patient, organized, caring, loving and secure. Any child welcomed into his home would, without a doubt, feel loved and provided for.
“I genuinely do not know of anything in his character or history which would prevent him from being a successful adoptive parent. I wholeheartedly give my recommendation of my Uncle Stephen to adopt a child.”
Stephen holding his nieceCourtesy
To all my fabulous gay uncles out there: You’re the glitter glue that holds the chaos together, the master of sharing sour sweets that make everyone’s face do that hilarious wince, the king of “don’t tell your parents,” and the only ones who can turn a boring day into a full-blown adventure.
Whether you’re teaching your nieces and nephews how to cook, how to dress, or how to cause just the right amount of trouble, you may already be learning more about parenting than you realize. Keep being the mentors, the confidants, and the absolute legends you are.
Gay Uncle’s Day may have passed, but the role we play in our nieces’ and nephews’ lives is worth celebrating every day. May your outfits be iconic, and your nieces and nephews be just a little bit obsessed with you!
Courtesy
Stephen Walker is an Out magazine reporter, host of Out Now, and a proud guncle and dad. Follow him @stephenwalkerinfo.
Opinion is dedicated to featuring a wide range of inspiring personal stories and impactful opinions from the LGBTQ+ community and its allies. Visit Out.com/submit to learn more about submission guidelines. We welcome your thoughts and feedback on any of our stories. Email us at voices@equalpride.com. Views expressed in Opinion stories are those of the guest writers, columnists, and editors, and do not directly represent the views of Out or our parent company, equalpride.
