This story originally appeared on Them.
The TikTok creator formerly known as Bela Delgado announced on June 3 that he is detransitioning after attending an “exploratory therapy camp” referred by his church, and will now be referred to on the platform as “TopHer,” a play on his birth name, Christopher.
“A lot of people have been asking me to address the elephant in the room,” Delgado said in the video. “Obviously, my display name is no longer Bela Delgado. It now says ‘TopHer,’ which is inspired by the name Christopher, my real name. I was born a male named Christopher Delgado.”
@topherglobal its been a long time since i had been vulnerable on a camera. i do hope it was able to answer youre question of where my head is been at. thank you to my fan
♬ original sound - TopHer
Once known for stirring controversy online with his cultural commentary on public figures like Nicki Minaj and Ariana Grande, including a notable feud with actress Julia Fox, Delgado has built a large following on TikTok in the 2020s. In the new video, posted Wednesday, Delgado said that after first publicly identifying as a transgender woman at age 18 in 2017, “that has changed.”
“After years of going on and off of medication and hormones and what not and trying to see why my head was in such a dark place, I decided that I was going to take some advice from my church,” Delgado said. “I am a devout Christian. I have been since I was a child and my transgender identity was always kind of awkwardly balanced with that.”
“They showed me an exploratory therapy camp that I’ve been to a few different times,” he continued. “I discovered that the answer to my problems is not a gender transition. I am very much a man and I’m now realizing I always have been one.”
Exploratory therapy camp is a title frequently used to advertise conversion therapy programs in plain sight, a new name for a practice that attempts to change a LGBTQ+ person’s sexual orientation or gender identity, often through coercive, harmful means. Conversion therapy has been condemned by every major medical, psychiatric, and psychological association, with many U.S. states and countries banning the practice entirely. Though the nature of the camp Delgado attended is unconfirmed, people online have already begun to express their concern.
“Exploratory therapy camp told me everything i needed to know,” a commenter under the video wrote. “I hope u are okay and what ever u choose to do is truly what YOU want to do. Not what anyone else has told u to do ir what anyone else wants u to do.”
“The light is gone in your eyes,” another says. “Honey, are you okay? I’ve been not okay plenty of times and in those moments I wished I had been asked that and someone just showed that they cared. Even if this is satire, or you’re genuinely okay and happy then that’s fine. As long as you’re alright.”
“This is horrifying,” another commenter simply wrote.
In the video, Delgado expresses that “this is not some kind of sudden religious psychosis.” After making internet influencing his job for several years, he said performing his online persona felt like rehashing a version of himself “very frozen in time.” He says he is not claiming “this is the case for everyone” but rather this is his personal journey, and he just “want[s] to go back to being Christopher.”
“I have finally come to peace with my masculine spirit. I have been able to accept my manhood,” he said. “Part of what I have discovered is my masculine spirit should not be working on the internet. I should be making my money doing physical labor, which is why I have decided to take on the job that I have now. I don’t make money from the internet anymore and it’s actually liberating.”
Now, the pop culture commentary videos that once populated his page have been removed. In their place are new videos about his job in construction, objectifying posts about crushing “poon,” and promoting his new music, which include lyrics like “God ain’t give me a cooter / he had to make me a dude.” Because Delgado has a history of making content that plays with the lines between reality and internet sketch, much like personalities such as Nikocado Avocado and former Bachelorette contestant Josh Seiter, some fans are skeptical about the nature of his former online person and apparent detransition.
“Sadly I’m beginning to think ‘Bela Delgado’ was a character that was created with the intention of exploiting an already at risk community and ‘TopHer’ is the same,” one commenter under a Reddit post wrote. “Their music is gross and contradicts the whole super Christian ‘I’m a converted success’ which also appears to be designed for maximum engagement opportunities.”
Others have speculated that the pivot to hyper-masculine content and Christianity is possibly a passing bit for Delgado, and a strategy for views. But the underlying sentiment of concern underscores many of the comments, especially given the trajectory of other internet personalities like Lohanthony, a once-prominent gay YouTuber who denounced his sexuality after saying he found Jesus.
“Bela has been pretty controversial throughout the years, wouldn't be surprised if this was another stunt,” another commenter under the Reddit thread wrote. “It's working. Here we are talking about it, he's getting flooded with comments and videos. But you never know these days. Look what happened to Lohanthony.”
According to several major studies over the years, it is important to note that detransition is statistically incredibly rare. Additionally, the majority of people who chose to detransition usually do so due to transphobia, rather than because they no longer identify as trans. Years of research still asserts that by and large, access to gender-affirming care and being able to socially transition saves lives.
