Gender reveal parties are dumb — not only because countless times they’ve ended in disaster, but because they don’t actually reveal a child’s gender. And yet here we are again, with a family trying to put a new spin on a pretty stupid process.
In Tampa this week, a family expecting a child roped in their pet alligator into their “gender reveal” plans. Yes, after families have roped lasagna into their dumb traditions, and started massive fires, now they want to bring in oversized reptiles. Well this isn’t the first time gators have been used, as in 2018 one had to be subdued so it wouldn’t maim any of the party goers. But this particular gator was massive.
Thankfully for the family, Amos, that’s the alligator’s name, seemed only interested in the black balloon which presumably carried a sign of the child’s gender. It wrestles with it for a few seconds, while the father dressed in all blue, holds the balloon at the end of a long stick and the mother, dressed in all pink, looks on. And then finally, the balloon pops. Hooray for the pink power now blinding the poor animal, right? Wrong.
The dad’s shoulders visibly drop, he lets the stick fall and pretty quickly walks off screen. Within seconds he has a hand on one hip, with his head in the other as the dust clears. The whole time, voices off screen cheer him on and the mom, seems pretty pleased — the child will be their 10th according to Orlando Weekly. Why he seems so crestfallen over a bit of pink dust, and the now revealed sex — not gender — of his child is a mystery to us. But maybe if we threw the whole arcane practice away, none of us would be in this predicament.
Congratulations to the child, who seems to have about 18 years ahead of them, with what will likely be highly gendered expectations from their family.