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Yes, We’re Horny for KFC’s New Colonel

KFC Colonel

This isn’t your mother’s Colonel Sanders.

If you’re looking for some help kicking your homophobic Chick-fil-A habit, look no further than KFC, who sent the internet into a tizzy when it announced its brand new Colonel Sanders, who happens to be a CGI Instagram influencer with six pack abs, tattoos and a coif of silver hair.

In mocking influencer tone, the new Colonel Sanders wrote in one Instagram post, “I may be a restaurant mogul and international inspiration, but I’m still just a kid who loves being in the kitchen. #humble It’s important never to lose sight of the things that make you who you are. For me, it’s being in the kitchen and making amazing fried chicken.”

He added, “That’s what got me here, and I never want to lose that young and hungry Colonel who spent all his time perfecting fried chicken. I’m still that kid who straps on an apron and makes fried chicken. And I’ll never lose that part of me. Never lose the things that make you who you are.”

 

 
 
 
 

 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 

I may be a restaurant mogul and international inspiration, but I’m still just a kid who loves being in the kitchen. #humble It’s important never to lose sight of the things that make you who you are. For me, it’s being in the kitchen and making amazing fried chicken. That’s what got me here, and I never want to lose that young and hungry Colonel who spent all his time perfecting fried chicken. I’m still that kid who straps on an apron and makes fried chicken. And I’ll never lose that part of me. Never lose the things that make you who you are. This is part of my #secretrecipeforsuccess. #candid #candidkitchen #colonelskitchen #humble #friedchicken #advice #success #entrepreneur #behindthecurtain #keys #respect #inspiration #positive #positivethoughts #artistatwork #majorkey #cookingram #cooking

A post shared by Colonel Harland Sanders (@kfc) on

 

This new virtual colonel has a hashtag #secretrecipesforsuccess, which he even has tattooed across his abs.

 

 

The new colonel is the latest in a line of casting changes that have included the likes of Jim Gaffigan, Rob Lowe and — most infamous among the gays – Reba McEntire. Some people also expressed their approval of the new hot colonel on Twitter.

 

 

The stunt also reminded some people of the time McDonald’s announced that the cartoonish Hamburglar had been replaced by a hipster-y suburban dad that got the internet ready to get hamburgled.

 

 

Brands are really out here getting the masses hungry and thirsty.

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