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A Link Between Cruise's Hair and His Movies?


We predict that this weekend's sci-fi blockbuster 'Oblivion' won't be half-bad based on the length of Cruise's locks

How do we know? Duh. A survey of his films over the past decade and their Rotten Tomatoes scores proves it is his hair style that matters.


Vanilla Sky, 2001

Called "extraordinarily narcissistic"

Rating: 40%

Hair length: Medium


Minority Report, 2002

His sexy butch crop--the real star of this "dark and dazzling spectacle"?

Rating: 92%

Hair length: Clean cut


The Last Samurai, 2003

Rating: 65%

Hair length: flowy and matted


Collateral, 2004

Premature silver-fox fluff proves to be a cut above

Hair Length: Short and textured


War of the Worlds, 2005

Rating: 74%

Hair Length: Tight and conventional


MI3, 2006

Rating: 70%

Hair Length: Not so risky business


Valkyrie, 2008

Rating: 62%

Hair Length: Short and wavy


Knight & Day, 2010

The floppier the bangs, the bigger the flop?

Rating: 52%

Hair Length: A Baldwin would wear it better


Rock of Ages, 2012

"Too bland and overlong"--the movie or the unruly weave?

Rating: 41%

Hair Length: Hair metal realness (circa Danzig)

Watch the #3 trailer for Oblivion below:

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Benjamin Solomon