A 24-year-old man wrote to an advice column recently seeking help after learning his 31-year-old boyfriend had hooked up with his parents for a hot threesome ten years earlier while he was a young teen.
The man, who signed his named as "I Knew He Was Into Blonds" (IKHWIB), wrote to Dan Savage's Savage Love online column seeking advice for his unusual situation.
"I'm a 24-year-old gay man with a 31-year-old bi boyfriend," IKHWIB began.
He went on to note that he always knew his older boyfriend was "a lot more sexually experienced" than he, but that it had never been a "big deal" previously. Things changed, though, when he took his beau to meet his parents for what the pair thought was the first time.
"But it turns out that ten years ago, during his 'big bi slut phase' (his words), they had a threesome," IKHWIB revealed.
The distraught young man continued and said that he doesn’t blame his boyfriend or his parents because they were consenting adults and no one knew the pair would "get together" down the road, but the vivid visualizations of his mother, father, and boyfriend rolling around in the sack and engaging in wild sexual acts together left him deeply troubled.
"But also, my boyfriend f*cked my parents!" INHWIB continued. "I'm mortified, he's mortified, they're mortified, and I may never be able to look at my parents again. Please help us find a way to move past this!"
Dan Savage thought they had heard it all until they read this letter. He admitted he had to lay down with a "cool washcloth" over his eyes "for six hours" before he could come to terms with the situation.
The advice columnist went on to opine that if "couples in their forties with teenage children at home are gonna have threesomes with guys in their twenties" they run the "hard-to-quantify-but-nevertheless-ineliminable risk that their children, once grown, could wind up meeting and fucking and even falling in love with one of the guys their parents had a threesome with back in the day."
Savage then surprisingly turned to the former mayor of Minneapolis Betsy Hodges for some sage advice for the troubled young man.
"He has to ask himself if the boyfriend is worth it," Hodges said. "Everything really depends on the strength of their connection — which will have to be weighed against whatever tension now exists between IKHWIB, his boyfriend, and his parents. Can they navigate that tension?"
Savage continued that thought, although a bit more graphically.
"You can laugh about this until you pass out, IKHWIB, but if you can’t suck your boyfriend’s c*ck without thinking about your dad sucking your boyfriend’s c*ck, you may not be able to get past this," the advice columnist said bluntly. "If you can’t look at your mom without thinking about her sitting on your boyfriend’s face, you might not be able to get past this. If you can’t take your boyfriend’s load without thinking about the load he dropped in your dad or your mom or both (21-year-olds have great stamina and such short refractory periods), you might not be able to get past this."
The columnist went on to state they were "doubtful there’s a memory hole out there big enough to stuff this in and tight enough to prevent it from falling right back out," but that there was always hope that there could get past the past.
"You’re not the first person whose parents...well, let’s not say your parents fucked you up," he concluded. "Instead let’s say you’re not the first person whose parents were a little extra."