Cishetero folks...are y’all ok? You’ve made some very interesting choices throughout the years — cargo shorts, How I Met Your Mother, football, Donald Trump — but this might take the cake — or the gender reveal lasagna. Gender reveals are inherently stupid, but none have ever been quite as shocking, cringey, and offensive as the one tweeted by Kennedy on Monday.
In the video, a couple holds a baby doll, which is apparently supposed to represent their unborn child. Slowly, insidiously, they remove the baby’s diaper, revealing...a gigantic penis. The dad screams in joy at the sight of his future child’s huge schlong as their family members cheer happily. Size queen confirmed!
I am FLABBERGASTED. pic.twitter.com/xL52JRPkRe
— Kennedy (@HelloKennedi) July 23, 2019
There are just so many questions. Is this a regular practice? Where exactly do you buy a gender reveal doll with exaggerated sex organs? Is there an etsy shop selling baby dolls with oversized vaginas? How does that person decide just how big the penis is going to be? Can you request that your baby have a larger penis? Do you keep this doll tucked away in a box somewhere to gift your child with before they leave for college, hoping that one day they’ll pass it on to their own children?
Gender reveal parties are already dumb and offensive, as they perpetuate gender stereotypes and don’t seem to take into account the reality that not everyone identifies with the gender they’re assigned at birth. Naturally, there is a veritable treasure trove of gender reveal fails ranging from dad’s getting hit in the face with colored baseballs to fireworks sending onlookers running in terror. And of course, we must never forget the border agent whose gender reveal explosion caused an $8.2 million forest fire.
But at least they didn’t have terrifying baby penises!