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One Life to Live and All My Children Were Cancelled!

Nooooooooooooooooooooo! Let the apocalypse begin:ABC has officially lost their damn minds, done the unthinkable and cancelled the only two shows worth both advertising dollars and (more importantly) our precious time. Yes, it's official, the long-running daytime soaps One Life to Live and All My Children have been shot and killed and are laying dead much like the two lives taken by the One Life to Live's Daniel Colson to cover up his gay affair! And what about Erica Kane? What are we going to do without a daily dose of our beloved Erica Kane Martin Brent Cudahy Chandler Montgomery Montgomery Chandler Marick Marick Montgomery (showgirl alias: Desiree Dubois)? Our nana is not going to be so happy that this little situation has transpired -- we'd better hide her pills 'cause this just might send her off the deep end. There are about three thousand things that should be taken off the air before these gems (seriously, does anybody out there actually watch sports? They wear shirts and everything!) Many a tear will fall because of this disaster -- and we're officially on STRIKE. Our eyeballs will not set foot on ABC ground unless the lives of our favorite soap operas go on (except for Dancing with the Stars and The View, obviously, but other than that we won't be watching -- uh-uh. No way).

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Max Berlinger