The Final Word on Oscars Fashion? Courtesy of the Washington Post

"Here is my review of the dresses: They were pretty much identical, in that they appeared to have been made of fabric, and successfully concealed most of the ladies' breasts and all of their groins. Some of the dresses were red, some were white, and some were black. Everyone looked pretty except someone named Jackie Weaver, who is fat."

-- Washington Post humor writer Gene Weingartendiscussing the red carpet fashion shown at the Oscars on Sunday.