Comedian Michelle Wolf brilliant took down Donald Trump, Mike Pence and Sarah Huckabee Sanders during her speech at this weekend's White House Correspondents Dinner. For nearly twenty minutes, Wolf tore into the executive branch, taking razor-sharp jabs at everyone from Roy Moore to Kellyanne Conway.
“I would drag him here myself, but it turns out that the President of the United States is the one pussy you’re not allowed to grab,” said Wolf of the absent president. Talking about Trump's ties to Russia, she said it was "kinda crazy that the Trump campaign was in contact with Russian when the Hillary campaign wasn't even in contact with Michigan."
As Sarah Huckabee Sanders looked on from the stage, Wolf told her she loved her as Aunt Lydia in The Handmaid's Tale, referring to the villainous matron played by Ann Dowd. “Every time Sarah steps up to the podium, I get excited. I’m not really sure what we’re going to get, you know? A press briefing, a bunch of lies or divided into softball teams. ‘It’s shirts and skins, and this time don’t be such a little bitch, Jim Acosta,'” said Wolf. “I actually really like Sarah. I think she’s very resourceful. But she burns facts and then she uses that ash to create a perfect smokey eye. Like maybe she’s born with it, maybe it’s lies. It’s probably lies.”
Wolf also called Mike Pence "what happens when Anderson Cooper isn’t gay."
"He thinks abortion is murder. Which first of all don’t knock it till you try it. And when you do try it, really knock it, you gotta get that baby out of there. And yeah, sure, you can groan all you want, I know a lot of you are very anti-abortion, you know, unless it’s the one you got for your secret mistress.”
Watch Wolf's full White House Correspondents Dinner speech below.