Eight Questions We�d Love to See a Gay Etiquette Guide Tackle

1. On a same-sex date, who is supposed to open the doors? 2. How long after a close friends relationship breaks up should one wait before asking out the friends ex? 3. When shopping at the Barneys clearance sale and two homo shoppers simultaneously grab the same pale yellow cashmere sweater, how does one determine who gets it? 4. When dining at a gay restaurant, how many times is too many times to drop ones napkin and make the cute, well-built waiter bend over and pick it up? 5. When at happy hour at your local gay watering hole, if a pushy queen bumps into you, spilling your apple martini on his suede shoes, who is responsible for cleaning the shoes? Is the other responsible for replacing your cocktail? 6. If an Internet date does not show up at the appointed hour, how long must one wait before ordering in a new online trick? What if they both arrive simultaneously? 7. What if one is a vegan but into the S/M scene? At what point in the flagellation is it appropriate to bring up ones objection to the use of leather? 8. Is it ever appropriate to pull ones fire alarm as a pretext to meeting cute firefighters? What about asking for mouth-to-mouth resuscitation?