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Nine headlines you will see when hell freezes over.

Pope Endorses Gay Marriage Madonna Takes Home Her Third Oscar President Bush Joins MENSA Liza Minnelli and David Gest Reconcile: Lovebirds Again Elton John Brokers Peace Deal Between Warring Nations Carson Kressley Fired from Queer Eye: Deemed Too Butch Nine Out of Ten Gay Men Agree: Abstinence Rules! Paris Hilton Graduates from Harvard Rosie ODonnell Elected President of the NRA
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