Lady Gaga shared more details about her rape at the age of 19 during a candid and emotional interview on The Me You Can't See, the new mental health docuseries from Oprah Winfrey and Prince Harry. The superstar artist and performer revealed how a producer allegedly threatened to destroy her career if she didn't have sex with him, and how the unnamed predator left her pregnant on a street corner after the ordeal, traumatizing her for years.
"I was 19 years old, and I was working in the business, and a producer said to me, 'Take your clothes off,'" Gaga recalled while fighting back tears. "And I said no. And I left, and they told me they were going to burn all of my music. And they didn't stop. They didn't stop asking me, and I just froze and - I don't even remember."
Gaga, whose real name is Stefani Germanotta, had briefly addressed the alleged assault in the past, but her interview on The Me You Can't See was her most detailed and intimate discussion on the subject to date. She described how the ordeal left her traumatized, resurfacing years later in a "total psychotic break," which left her "not the same girl" for several years.
"First, I felt full-on pain, then I felt numb, and then I was sick for weeks after," Gaga shared. "I realized that it was the same pain that I felt when the person who raped me dropped me off pregnant on a corner by my parent's house, because I was vomiting and sick. Because I had been abused, and I was locked away in a studio for months."
Like many suffering from PTSD from sexual trauma, Gaga turned to self-harm both as a means to deal with their internal struggles, but also as a cry for help.
"You think you're gonna feel better 'cause you're showing somebody, 'Hey, look I'm in pain.' It doesn't help,' she cautioned. "I always tell people, 'Tell somebody. Don't show somebody.'"
The new Apple+ series from Oprah Winfrey and Prince Harry Mountbatten-Windsor seeks to bring awareness to mental health issues through individual stories. Actress Glenn Close, NBA star DeMar DeRozan, celebrity chef Rashad Armstead, and others share their own personal experiences alongside those of ordinary people. Prince Harry discusses his own abuse of drugs and alcohol following the death of his mother when he was only 13.
Gaga said she was not revealing the name of the producer, despite the possible objections from some.
"I understand this #MeToo movement, I understand that some others feel really comfortable with this, and I do not, I do not ever want to face that person again," she said.
You can watch all episodes of The Me You Can't See now on Apple TV+. The full trailer for the series is below.
If you or someone you know is the survivor of sexual assault, know that there are resources available to you. The National Sexual Assault Hotline provides 24-hour services for all who may need it. Reach them at 1-800-656-4673. They can speak with you about your assault and refer you to a local crisis center. If you want to speak to a service that is specific to the LGBTQ+ communities, call the Anti-Violence Project hotline at 212-714-1124 (which also provides services in spanish) or the LGBT National Help Center's hotlines. You can reach te National Hotline at 1-888-843-4564 or the National Youth Talkline at 1-800-246-7743.