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7 Times Last Night's Empire Snatched ALL the Wigs

7 Times Last Night's Empire Snatched ALL the Wigs

Empire Wig Snatch

Spoilers and a heaping helping of shade ahead.

GIFs via Les Fabian Brathwaite

Last night's Empire continued the megahit's catwalk towards greatness and it's a testament to the show's bravado that former America's sweetheart Courtney Love wasn't the craziest part of it.

We had previously teased the epic showdown betwen Love's Elle Dallas, a legendary rock star on the way down and out, with Lyon matriarch Cookie (America's current sweetheart Taraji P. Henson). While Cookie and Elle didn't end up killing each other -- or at the very least, killing everyone around them -- there was still plenty of OTT fabulousness to cheer for.

Here are the top 7 wig-snatching moments from last night's episode of Empire, "Out Damned Spot":

Cookie in Love

7. Cookie's sweet tooth.

When some lowly security guard has the gaul -- the unmitigated cheek -- to ask for her ID in the building she pracically built with her own acrylics, Cookie is about to go OFF:

Cookie Question

But when she realizes it's all new protocol thanks to the handsome new head of secrurity, well, let's just say she changes her tune. Could Cookie be getting a new, younger love interest. Get ready for Cougar Town 2: Cookie's Crumble.

Empire Elle

6. The introduction of Elle Dallas

Elle Dallas is a star and don't you fucking forget it. Stomping in wearing a giant fur and last week's panties, Elle is initially dismissive of plans for Cookie to handle her career, since she's got more platinum than Kanye's watch collection:

I sold over 100 million records

But it's either Cookie's way or the highway.

Courtney and Cookie

5. And the horse she rode in on.

Remember that time Courtney Love was a serious and respected actress? Well 20 years ago was a long time, but the gal's still got the chops. And sure, you might say, it's not a real stretch for her to play a drug-addicted rock star, but the seedy motel confrontation between Love and Henson is easily some of the best acting the show's seen thus far. Emmys all over the place.

Lady

4. Jamal's closet case.

Now that he's finally poised for success, the fame is going to Jamal's head, as foreshadowed by the always classy Mama Lyon:

Empire Tops

Michael's finally getting some much-needed backstory (he's learning to be a chef at the culinary, lest we forget) but it might be too late now that their groundbreaking relationship is about to be broken for good.

No one special

There just doesn't seem to be room in Jamal's life for anyone besides his music and his mama. Michael should probably brush up on his recipes for one.

Extensions

3. The actual wig-snatching.

Elle's just not bringing it to a recording session and Cookie has no problem letting her know. And Elle has no problem sharing her feelings on the matter:

Booth

But once Cookie reasons with the rock queen, she's able to pull out the kind of raw, emotional and above all honest touch Dallas was known for. Cookie also points out that they have more in common than Elle thinks, such as the need for a comeback or a penchant for convenient amnesia:

Do you know who you're talking to?

Meanwhile, I love how Cookie's face seems to answer: "Yeah, do you, bitch?"

That's so Raven

2. [Spoiler]

Jamal's got a baby, or at least a crazy ass baby mama, played by former Disney psychic and out ladylover Raven-Symone. That means: A. Jamal's no Gold Star Gay. B. He's got a potential beard if he continues on with these closet shenanigans. And C. maybe we can look forward to his baby mama finagling her way into one of Jamal's songs since Ms. Symone is no stranger to pop.

Snatching

1. Cookie's jar.

Where do I start? Literally the first five minutes had me screaming at Taraji P. Henson. First off, she's getting ready to Lil' Kim which means something's about to go down. Second, expecting a romantic evening with Lucious to reignite the old flame, Cookie is met with the news of her ex-husband's engagement, which she greets with the darkest shade possible:

Cheers

Slurp

Then, eschewing a tasteful exit, Cookie shows Lucious what he's missing and Anika what she should aspire to:

Booty

But there's no shame in Cookie's game, and proving that she's the drag queen I always suspected her of being, Mama Lyon takes it to the ballroom:

BODY

And the category is: CHEESECAKE. All hail the queen.

Les Fabian Brathwaite, always giving you BODY.

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