The Top 10 Super Smash Bros. Queer Icons, Ranked

The Top 10 Super Smash Bros. Queer Icons, Ranked

Launched today on the Nintendo Switch, Super Smash Bros. Ultimate is the perfect play to nostalgia for Smash fans. With a roster of characters that pulls from the entire Nintendo gaming archives, the fighting title is easily the biggest and best installment of the Smash franchise.

“Whenever I talk about Smash, I always talk about it as being a celebration of Nintendo’s past, present and future,” competitive gamer and graphic artist D.J. Kirkland told OUT. Having begun playing Smash when they launched in January 1999, he considers himself a bit of a super fan. “Ultimate continues in that tradition by showcasing all the characters we’ve come to love. Plus, I believe like 11 new characters or more are on the way!”

But it’s more than just nostalgia, Smash contains a fiercely competitive tournament circuit, so much so that even before the game debuted there was already a rivalry brewing between two major esports players already. Dominique “SonicFox” McLean, who picked up the title of Best Esports Player of 2018 on Thursday, and Gonzalo “ZeRo” Barrios have a showdown planned for the game in three months, because of a Twitter dispute.

“The beauty of Smash is like that playground conversation of ‘if Mario and Link were in a fight, who would win?’ but actually as a video game,” Kirkland, who is working on a graphic novel titled The Black Mage, out August 13, 2019 on Oni Press said.”That blew my mind as a 10-year-old kid.”

That said, as queer people have played the game, we’ve staked a claim to specific characters for a variety of reasons. Characters that we have decided, sexuality aside, have a je ne sais quoi that deserves a standom.. “I have a group chat with other queer gamers and we talk basically every day and call characters our queer icons,” Kirkland explained. “I’ve always gravitated to female characters whenever I’ve played like a fighting game or any kind of action-adventure game because it’s always like she’s sickening and kicks ass.”

Here, Kirkland ranks the characters across the Super Smash Bros. franchise as queer icons in their own right.

 

1.  Bayonetta - She literally fights with her weave and has guns on her high heels. Obviously a queer icon, no questions asked.  

2. Zero Suit Samus - What queer person doesn’t want a pair of combat heels to kick their enemies into the stratosphere?

3. Captain Falcon - He wears a skin-tight leather suit and the buttons are right on his nipples; if that isn’t a Folsom Street Fair look, I don’t know what is.

4. Palutena - She’s giving you that twirl on her magical girl staff like she’s right out of Sailor Moon, which was one of the gayest cartoons on television. Fight me!

5. Wii Fit Trainer - Now, you know you’ve seen the male Wii Fit Trainer at Equinox … probably in the steam room.

6. Princess Daisy - Daisy is definitely a sporty queen that lives for drama. Catch her on next season’s Real Princesses of Sarasaland.

7. Princess Zelda - She’s the optimistic, newly out queen with hope in her heart. We must protect her at all costs.

8. Sheik - You know the mysterious gay that left you on read but you double and maybe triple texted anyway? Hi, hello, we’ve found you.

9. Princess Peach - Miss Peaches if you’re nasty, this is the messy girl that causes the drama.

10. Kirby - He literally sucks up his enemies’ powers … there is nothing else to say.

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Tags: Popnography

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