RuPaul has pulled some stunts in her day, but none as great -- or nerve-racking -- as last night's episode. Instead of wheeling a giant box o' Shangela out to throw the queens off their game, Mama Ru brought back all seven eliminated queens and paired them with the current crop of contestants. The stakes were high with the eliminated queen from the winning team earning the spot vacated by the queen on the losing team. Needless to say, the girls who didn't get sent home were not having any of this.
Rulated | The Drag Race GIF-Cap Extravaganza: Snatch Game!
The Mini-Challenge: 25 to Giving LIFE
To soften the blow of essentially going back to square one, Ru brought out perennial favorite, Latrice Mother Fucking Royale and one of her many iconic catchphrases.
Though I think she'd take those nuts to go this time around.
The queens were given 20 minutes to sissy their jailbird jumpsuits, which gave us this glorious prison fashion show. What's the tea, Ginger? Oh right, those earrings.
Pearl never met a bar of soap that didn't need dropping.
Katya was causing a prison Pussy Riot.
I'll be checking my local Claire's for these gorgeous handcuff doorknockers.
Paris Hilton's chola cousin decided to straddle the catwalk.
Even though she didn't have that much orange in her final prison couture look, Kennedy -- along with her side ponytail and ashy knees -- won.
The Glamazon Diana, Princess of Paradise Island
Two Heads Are Better Than One...
This had to be one of the most technically complicated challenges in Drag Race herstory and it could easily have gone south. That it didn't is a testament to this season's queens. Sure, there may not be a single standout as in past seasons, but that's because this was literally anyone's game.
Well, anyone but Jaidynn, who was finally put out of her misery this episode.
She and Tempest tried it with their Maxxinista disco diva approach, but it just wasn't up to par with the other gals.
I mean, this otherwise flawless look was ripped apart for retreading tired -- albeit still youthful-looking -- territory .
Kennedy tried to do right by her sister Jasmine, but these two pageant queens were lethally beautiful just not Drop Dead Gorgeous.
Fun fact: Max and Violet have a combined waist of 27".
Ginger managed to corral Sasha into this Peggy Bundy by way of John Waters ensemble
While Katya and Mrs. Kasha Davis were serving Fran and Sylvia Fine...by way of Peg Bundy
They also had the best (shall we say) "connection" of the conjoined twins
But the winners -- to the relief of the internet -- were Pearl and Trixie Mattel
Trixie finally brought the Funny -- with a capital F, mind you -- giving her a much-deserved second chance from the girl who originally sent her home.
While Pearl got easily the most practical prize ever in Drag Race.
No feather accoutrements or BDSM gowns for you, Pearl. You're getting a responsible future instead.
But How Is Your Head?
If you've been keeping up with these GIF-caps over the past few weeks -- A. good for you -- you'll know how frustrating it's been to see Ru lob that same old "How's your head?" joke at Miss Fame, who somehow always seemed to miss it -- leaving it to serial MVP Michelle Visage to ally-oop it home.
Well after a dressing-down in the workroom, Ru gave her one more chance to appease the comedy gods.
It wasn't the greatest punchline delivery, but at least it wasn't still-born.
Since Bea Arthur's untimely passing, there have been very few people who can live up to her deadpan delivery, but I'd just like to give Ru her tens for getting out these absurd critiques with a, er, straight face.
And this glorious haiku in the making
Life-Saving Lip Sync Moment
As I mentioned before, Jaidynn had to go. Three times and you are out. Besides, she never stood a chance once Ginger and Sasha took the girl-titties off and brought the boy-titties out.
Guest judges Nelsan "Lafayette" Ellis and LeAnn "Homewrecker" Rimes were gagging.
Meanwhile, lifelong BFFs Ru and Michelle were having the kiki of their lives.
They have fun.
Les Fabian Brathwaite -- getting those nuts away from Latrice's face.