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Scoring Mr. Bond

Bond

BondSEAN CONNERY
(1962-1971)

“You’re a woman of many parts, Pussy!” (Goldfinger)

James Bond creator Ian Fleming wasn’t too keen on the beefy, working-class, Scottish Connery’s casting, hoping instead for suave Cary Grant. But like all those Bond girls, and generations of Bond fan boys, he was soon won over.

Style: 007

Gayness: 006 (Ex-bodybuilder, ex-chorus boy, those wigs, those short swimsuits!)

Sex appeal: 007
Total Bondness: 020

 

BondGEORGE LAZENBY (1969)

“I’ve never had much to do with young women.” (On Her Majesty’s Secret Service)

The craggy Aussie was one of the world’s highest-paid models working in Europe when he was cast to play Mr. Bond—after being spotted by producer Cubby Broccoli at the hairdresser. It’s not known whether he was wearing the famous kilt he fills out nicely in the movie at the time.

Style: 006

Gayness: 006 (He even pretends to be gay at one point)

Sex appeal: 007 (That chin! Those calves! That sporran!)

Total Bondness: 019

 

BondROGER MOORE (1973-1985)

“Don’t worry, darling. It’s just a small hat belonging to a man of limited means who lost a fight with a chicken.” (Live and Let Die)

The longest-serving Bond, and also the least physical, the always elegant Moore played Bond largely for camp laughs. A bit like a very heterosexual, well-armed Noël Coward.

Style: 007 (He was a Persuader and a Saint)

Gayness: 006 (Those catty quips, the arched eyebrows)

Sex appeal: 003 (Can you find his arse in those high-waisted flares?)

Total Bondness: 016

 

BondTIMOTHY DALTON
(1987-1989)

 “I’ll do anything for a woman with a knife.” (The Living Daylights)

The Royal Shakespeare Company Bond—Jean-Luc Picard plus hair, polo shirts, and too much angst—Dalton made only two Bond movies. Some say that was two too many.

Style: 004 

Gayness: 003 

Sex appeal: 001
Total Bondness: 008

 

BondPIERCE BROSNAN
(1995-2002)

Bond: I always enjoyed learning a new tongue.

Miss Moneypenny: You always were a cunning linguist, James. (Tomorrow Never Dies)

A good actor but an antiseptic Bond, Brosnan played Fleming’s antihero updated politically by feminism but not aesthetically. By Die Another Day (2002), he resembled an ’80s knitwear catalog model trapped inside a noughties computer game.

Style: 005 

Gayness: 001 

Sex appeal: 005

Total Bondness: 011

 

BondDANIEL CRAIG (2006-present)

Raoul Silva: [Caresses a restrained Bond’s thighs and chest] ...first time for everything.

James Bond : What makes you think this is my first time? (Skyfall)

The first working-class Bond since Connery and also the first since the ’60s to possess a body. And what a body! In that famous Casino Royale beach scene, Bond finally became his own Ursula Andress. No wonder the villains can’t keep their hands off him.

Style: 007

Gayness: 007 (The first Bond to come out about his M4M past)

Sex appeal: 007 (You so would)

Total Bondness: 021

The Winner? Daniel Craig, of course!

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