Oh no. No, no, no, no. "There is a [Heathers] sequel in the works. I swear to God," Winona Rider says. "I've been wanting to do a sequel forever. There is a story, and Christian [Slater] has agreed to come back as a kind of Obi-Wan character." This is frightening news.
While it's one thing for such a angsty teenage classic to be reborn as a campy musical, the thought of a major motion picture sequel debuting well into the second decade of the second millenium A.D. makes terrifying visions of Bring It On Again spread-eagle in my head. It's not that I'm against sequels in principle. There will always be a soft spot in my heart for Ghostbusters 2. But let's face it: they just don't make sequels like they used to. Especially where the words Obi-Wan are concerned.
If I'm overreacting, maybe it's because there's a little something about Heathers that brings to mind 90210; and I'm still cowering under the bleachers from that remake atrocity. Maybe this isn't fair, since Heathers was never no 90210, but with the word "sequel" in mind I can no longer see the classic portrait without reflexively superimposing a fresh set of toothy grins and ridiculous perms and cardboard-quality acting skills. If this project is for real, it had better be a feat of seriously inspired film (re-)making, because a grown-up Veronica as school guidance counselor? Do not want!
Photo: Getty Images
Previously > Bulimia is so '87: Heathers musical in the works