Undoubtedly, Thanksgiving is one of the most polarizing holidays, evoking the full spectrum of human emotion from both enthusiasts and curmudgeons nationwide. What are you thankful for this year--that Aunt Cindy's last-minute tennis injury will prevent her from attending your celebration with her perfect, undermining family and their passive-aggressive line of questioning about your underpaid, "artistic" profession? Or perhaps that your mother-in-law switched her shrink recently and will be joining your feast under the influence of, you've been told, a more subdued cocktail of SSRIs? Or are you simply thankful for a certain annual family dish that contains entire stick of butter distributed among eight savory, flaky pieces of crust--and nothing more?
Regardless of your personal connection to Turkey Day, one thing we can all bond over is the cathartic experience of watching others' catastrophic attempts to give thanks and praise while desperately trying not to spill the gravy. Below, we offer some viewing recommendations to help you through the holiday havoc.
Starting with... The Addams Family Values (1993) Do you have foot-in-mouth syndrome? Are you most likely to antagonize your Nittany Lion-crazed uncle about Joe Paterno and stoke the flames of familial drama? Like Wednesday Addams, Thanksgiving is a time for you upset your entire family by blurting out the most controvesial topics you can think of (Occupy Wall Street, Libya, fisting, etc.). But unlike Wednesday, your celebration won't end with arson.
Next: Pieces of April
Pieces of April (2003) Feeling a bit like Patricia Clarkson, the cancer-stricken mother in this Katie-Holmes-before-all-that-mess Thanksgiving indie comedy? The thought of the holidays may get your eyes rolling, sure, but at least your sarcastic outlook on life isn't the product of terminal illness.
Worried about a dysfunctional family? At least you're not sitting down to eat with Arthur Miller (John Lithgow) and his violently repressed family.
Next: Scary Movie 2
Scary Movie 2 (2001)
If you're a vegan or vegetarian (or just subjected to awful cooking every year) the Thanksgiving turkey can seem extremely unappetizing--be thankful your chefs have at least washed their hands.
Next: Home for the Holidays
Home for the Holidays(1995) Afraid of confronting uptight relatives about your "lifestyle choices"? It could be worse. Just make sure you don't "accidentally" hurl a turkey at your conservative sister over the dinner table, OK?