Now that Kevin Hart has stepped down from the Oscars after refusing to apologize for his homophobic tweets the gig is up for grabs. Considering the nature of Hart’s exit, it seems that the Oscars could do some nice damage control by hiring an actual queer person to host the ceremony. Well, we have some suggestions.
Ellen has already hosted the Academy Awards twice, in 2007 and 2014, so why not a third time? She’s already trying to be more Relatable with her upcoming Netflix stand up special, and what’s more relatable than making a bunch of celebrities feel bad for hiring a homophobe in the first place?
Bisexual comedy legend Margaret Chow knows how to work a crowd thanks to her decades of stand up and she has some experience with awards shows after playing Kim Jong-Un at the Golden Globes. Let’s see if she’s available!
Is there anyone more qualified to hold their own in a room full of A-List stars? The women attending the Oscars are basically in drag, so why not have Ru on hand to silently judge them? We’re already imaging an opening number with all the Drag Race queens...
Neil Patrick Harris
NPH also already has an Oscars gig under his belt — he hosted the 2015 awards — and since then he’s possibly our most famous gay magician, meaning we could get some gay Houdini-esque stunts if he were to return. Perhaps he could have some sexy dancers back him up and then make their pants disappear?
The Pose star, who was just nominated for a Golden Globe, knows how to hold the attention of a room and distribute awards. “Category is...Best Foreign Language Film.”
McKinnon is Saturday Night Live’s MVP, and she’s also been the highlight of every film she’s starred in. It’s time for her to truly ascend to the heights of lesbian excellence and preside over the Oscars, thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
The comedy legend and lesbian icon has been working gigantic audiences for decades with her stand up routine while stealing scenes in films like Monster in Law and Snatched. Don’t you want to hear her talk about how she should have replaced Dave Chappelle in A Star is Born in her opening monologue?
Imagine it: Billy Eichner, in a tuxedo, screaming at all the A-List actors who used Vice as an excuse to get fat. Plus, maybe he’ll bring his Lion King co-star Beyoncé out for a song.
Oh mama, you want old Hollywood production numbers full of high kicks, slapstick humor and legends serving vocals? Get the Will & Grace star’s agent on the phone yesterday.
If Halsey were to host the Oscars, she could potentially present Lady Gaga with an Oscar, the same way she presented Ally with a Grammy during her iconic A Star is Born cameo. “This is great...Lady Gaga.” The space/time continuum would rupture as Gaga’s hair spontaneously turned orange and Bradley Cooper pissed himself in the front row. This is the future liberals want.