Will closet case Waylon Smithers finally score with his antediluvian boss Mr. Burns in The Simpsons Movie? Until their love is consummated, we savor some precious moments.
Mr. Burns [During nuclear meltdown scare]: I guess theres nothing left but to kiss my sorry ass goodbye.
Smithers: May I, sir?
Smithers [During same meltdown scare]: Sir, there may never be another time to sayI love you, sir.
Mr. Burns: Oh, hot dog! Thanks for making my last few moments on Earth socially awkward.
Smithers: Sir, in the spirit of the festival and everything, Id just like to say thatIlove you.
Mr. Burns: Hmm?
Smithers: In those colors! [Aside] Oh, who am I kidding? The boathouse was the time!
Mr. Burns: Now get down here so I can spank you in front of this gawking rabble. Smithers, take off my belt.
Smithers: With pleasure, sir!
Smithers: I think women and sea-men dont mix.
Mr. Burns: We know what you think.
Mr. Burns [At the ballet]: Bah! Far too much dancing, not nearly enough prancing!
Smithers: A little mincing would be nice.
Mr. Burns [Writing]: Memorandum to Mrs. Bouvier, re: delineation of romantic intentions [Stops writing] Pfft! Too sappy! Smithers, come over here and help me write a mash note to my girlfriend.
Smithers: Fine. Darling one, read my words and hear my heart speak of a love soft and undying, a love that will be with you always. Sincerely, yadda yadda yadda.
Mr. Burns: Thats marvelous! How did you think of that so fast?
Smithers: I [Sobs] sent it to you on your birthday! [Cries] Excuse me, I have something in my eye!
Mr. Burns[When a projectile lands in his lap]: Smithers! Theres a rocket in my pocket!
Smithers: You dont have to tell me, sir.
Mr. Burns: Dogs are idiots! Think about it, Smithers, if I came into your house and started sniffing at your crotch and slobbering all over your face, what would you say?
Smithers: Uh, if you did it, sir?
Mr. Burns: So, another Friday is upon us. What will you be doing, Smithers? Something gay, no doubt!
Smithers: What?!
Mr. Burns: You know, lighthearted, fancy-free. Mothers, lock up your daughters! Smithers is on the town! [Chuckles]
Smithers: Exactly, sir. [Laughs nervously]
Mr. Burns: Ah, lunchtime! Well, lets see what Ive packed for myself today. One bouillon cubeone Concord grapeone Philly cheesesteakand a jar of garlic pickles! [Laughs] No one will want to kiss me after these, eh, Smithers?
Smithers: Well, its their loss, sir.
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