1. Grow a mullet and a mustache and tell a lot of Jeff Foxworthy jokes.
2. Wear your cell phone on a clip on your belt.
3. Constantly hawk loogies onto the sidewalks and streets.
4. Use as many profane four-letter words as possible in one sentence.
5. Wear Brut cologne.
6. Commence getting all of your teeth gold-plated for purely aesthetic purposes.
7. Drink beer out of a can.
