HIV 101: Does Being HIV-positive Mean I Also Have AIDS?

It is far less common, but possible, to transmit HIV through oral sex, especially if you are a man and you ejaculate into someone else's mouth. If you have HIV and your partner performs fellatio on you but you do not ejaculate in that person's mouth, you have an extremely low chance of passing HIV to them. HIV transmission through "fellatio without ejaculation can happen, but it is exceedingly rare," says Thomas Coates, Ph.D., a professor of medicine and director of the University of California, San Francisco, AIDS Research Institute and the Center for AIDS Prevention Studies. "It's not 'no risk,' but it's relatively low risk." When ejaculation occurs during fellatio, the risk of HIV transmission rises; researchers debate what the rate of transmission is but most estimates are between 1 and 10 percent. If you are a woman, having someone perform cunnilingus on you is extremely low risk as well, as long as you are not menstruating. Keep Reading →

All health care professionals use "universal precautions" to prevent the transmission of blood-borne diseases like HIV and Hep C to and from patients, according to Robert J. Frascino, MD, of the Robert James Frascino AIDS Foundation. An expert for TheBody.com, Frascino says he'd recommend disclosing your status to your dentist, though, so that he or she could be on the lookout for HIV-specific problems in the mouth. "Health care professionals, including dentists, are trained to look for certain conditions more closely if they know you have an underlying medical problem, be that diabetes, cancer, HIV, or whatever," he writes. "Why would you not advise your dentist of your HIV status? If you feel that dentist would discriminate against you for being HIV positive, that's not the office you want to be treated in anyway, right? Being HIV-positive is not something to be ashamed of. It's a viral illness." The same is true for other health care providers: You don't have to tell them, but it's in your best interest and best health to do so. Keep Reading →

Many parents worry that telling their kids might place a burden on the children. Mental health professionals say the decision about whether to tell your kids depends on many factors, including how perceptive they are (if there are medicine containers all around, kids will ask about them), how discreet you need to be (asking kids to keep your status a secret is a heavy burden), and how strong you can be for them (some kids will be angry or overly clingy, worried you'll be dying). For most people, telling their children is the right thing to do. Before you do, learn everything you can about HIV. Your kids have been perfecting the "why" questions since they were 2 years old; this is a moment when there will be a lot of whys and hows. Your doctor or counselor might have ideas about groups or advocates for children, who can also talk to the kids or be a support team for you and the offspring as you go through the coming-out process. Then, says Mark Cichocki, a nurse educator at the University of Michigan's HIV/AIDS Treatment Program and the author of Living With HIV: A Patient's Guide, talk in a quiet space, be honest, trust your kids to handle it, and let them express their emotions fully (remember, kids can experience a range of feelings, including guilt, fear, rage, and rejection). This process may take more than one day -- it's the beginning of a conversation in which you should be honest, age-appropriate, and willing to offer both answers and assurances. Kids can impress us with their ability to understand and assimilate information; you just need to have it ready for them. After the crying and talking is done, take them out for ice cream so they remember that this is just another thing that your family will tackle together. Keep Reading →

Serodiscordant simply means one of you has HIV and one of you doesn't. Some gay couples use the term "magnetic couples" to mean the same thing. There's very little research on how successfully serodiscordant, or mixed, couples cope with the complications of HIV. According to TheBody.com, an online HIV resource guide, "research of this nature tends to measure the most negative aspects of positive/negative couplings, telling us primarily how HIV complicates our lives. It tells us very little about the rewards, the discovery of inner strengths, the emotional ties, the opportunities for developing better communication skills, or the joy generated when a mixed-status couple does create a happy, strong, fulfilling relationship." Keep Reading →

Short answer: No. There was thought to be heightened risk from surgery, but a study published in 2006 in The Journal of the American Medical Association compared surgery data for both HIV-positive and HIV-negative patients and found that the two groups had the same level of complications from surgery. Moreover, medical workers are better educated about HIV than they once were, and the fear of positive patients has eroded. But you may still have to work harder to find a surgeon who has worked with HIV-positive patients, or if you're transgender, a doctor who can work with both your HIV specialist and your reassignment surgeon. Keep Reading →

What you need to know if you're a mixed (serodiscordant) couple is that you can have a happy and healthy relationship, but like all relationships, it requires work and commitment, because love does not conquer all. The HIV-negative partner may want talk to his or her physician about pre-exposure prophylaxis, or PrEP; research has shown that the anti-HIV drug Truvada reduces the risk of HIV infection in the negative partners of HIV-positive gay men. While some doctors warn that PrEP shouldn't be the first line of defense against HIV infection, instead recommending regular condom use, many experts recognize that condoms are rarely utilized 100 percent of the time in a relationship. Also, many HIV experts now say that when the HIV-positive partner has an undetectable viral load (which happens with early and consistent drug treatment; see page 38 on finding a doctor) the likelihood of transmitting the virus to a partner is significantly reduced or eliminated. Couples might also want to see a counselor who specializes in coping with HIV. Many HIV-positive people fear spreading the disease to their partners, making sex fraught with tension. Many HIV-negative partners encounter disrespect from friends and family members when the other partner's status is revealed. A counselor can help you work through those kinds of issues and communicate to each other your anxieties, fears, and needs. Keep Reading →