Chocolate City is by no means a good movie. The plot -- if you want to call it that -- is half-baked and the characters are given about as much depth as a puddle on the sidewalk. But Chocolate City is brilliant. It hits that sweet spot of being so bad it's good because it's so bad it deserves a Pulitzer Prize. I don't care that they don't give out Pulitzer Prizes for film -- make one up. Here are sixe undeniable reasons to see the Citizen Kane of urban male stripper dramas, Chocolate City.
1. Robert Ri'chard's Abs
As the film's gorgeous leading man recently boasted to ET, there was no shame in his shirtless game so he had no problems taking it off on-screen: "I work out -- I'm ripped -- so I wasn't worried about that part." Amen.
2. Tyson Beckford's Butt
The male supermodel of the world told us last week that he worked extra hard to make sure his butt cheeks (as seen here with trans model Ines Rau) would not disappoint -- as if they ever could: "I was squatting a lot to get these cheeks tight. Not that they weren't tight before, but they were super tight for this role."
I have no idea when Vivica aged into playing mother roles -- especially when she's giving us this tease on her IMDb page -- but neither she nor this wig are taking any guff.
4. Ginuwine Reclaiming "Pony"
Channing Tatum brought "Pony" -- one of the greatest odes to dick-riding of the '90s, and really, of all time -- to a new generation in Magic Mike. In Chocolate City, the original cowboy straps on the saddle and takes his classic for a spin. Sure, this isn't 1997 Ginuwine, but dad's still got the moves.
5. Carmen Electra's Unexplained and Gratuitous Cameo
This movie literally dug up everyone that was available from the '90s and threw them together for no apparent reason, otherwise how does one explain Carmen Electra hanging around as Chocolate City's resident DJ?
6. BODY! BODY! BAAAAAAWWWWWDDDYYY!!!!
No offense to Magic Mike -- Joe Manganiello, you know I'll always have a special place in my heart, among other places, for you -- but the beefcake in Choclate City is grade A, top notch primecut chuck. It's easily the film's main selling point, so get out those dollars and start making it rain.
Chocolate City is in select theaters and available On Demand today.