69 Questions with Queer Raconteur Justin Sayre

Justin Sayre, perhaps best known for his downtown cabaret act "The Meeting" which played for eight consecutive seasons in New York City, has made a name for himself with his colorful pop culture observations and his knowledge of the Golden Girls.

His new show, "Justin Sayre Makes the Case for America," which he lovingly dubs as a "Love-In"--is Sayre's hilarious and heartfelt response to perhaps the most pressing question of our time: What does it mean to be an American at this moment and how do we move forward?

We had the opportunity to shoot of some rapid fire questions to the witty raconteur, who explains what fabric he loves for caftans, if he's Team Cardi or Nicki, and who everyone should be following right now.

1. Favorite film?Reds or Auntie Mame. I can't choose and I won't.

2. Favorite film from the past five years?I, Tonya

3. Favorite Meryl Streep film? Postcards from the Edge

4. Favorite TV show currently on? I've been a Grey's Anatomy fanatic from day one.

5. What's a book you plan on reading? I'm currently reading a biography on Samuel Taylor Coleridge and Delicious Foods by James Hannaham.

6. A book you read that positively shaped your life?Their Eyes Were Watching God by Zora Neale Hurston.

7. Are you single or taken? Single. Very Single. Why do you have someone for me?

8. Name a vice of yours. Fried food and sex. That's the sum of it.

9. Twitter or Instagram? I like Instagram but I barely know how to use it, and I hate having my picture taken.

10. Grindr or Scruff? I shockingly do better on Grindr. But I like a woof.

11. Dating app profile header? Hung Bear Top. I tried to go with something clever and cute and it just never worked.

12. Favorite brand of poppers? I don't use them. But I keep a bottle of Rush in the house for guests. I'm always trying to be a good hostess.

13. Favorite Drag Race lip sync of all time? The only one. Tatiana vs Alyssa Edwards - "Shut Up and Drive." Sometimes I just watch it to feel better about life.

14. Favorite song you love to lip sync to? "Que Sabes Tu" by Olga Guillot. (I do not speak Spanish)

15. Who are you most like on Sex and the City? Michael Patrick King told me I was a Charlotte, so I guess that's the closest I get to a definitive answer.

16. Dream role (any gender) in a Broadway musical? Mame.

17. What's your favorite fast food restaurant? I don't do it. I made a promise to myself to only eat at places with their own plates.

18. Least favorite food? Fennel.

19. What do you love on your pizza? I like pineapple which I know is a sacrilege.

20. Favorite gay bar and why? 9th Avenue Saloon. The last dive in Hell's Kitchen. It's lowkey and fun and they usually play great music. I also like Akbar in LA.

21. Order at the bar? Seltzer with lime. I don't drink, anymore. You're welcome.

22. Strangest place you've had sex? An apartment completely painted black. It was a weird night.

23. Weirdest thing you've ever eaten? See answer above.

24. Favorite fabric for caftans? I love a jersey or a rayon.

25. Favorite episode of Golden Girls? The Henny Penny Episode.

26. Favorite Golden Girl? Forever Dorothy.

27. What's your favorite band from the 90s? The Cranberries. I had a lot of feelings.

28. Favorite solo artist of the 2000s? Damien Rice

29. Favorite song lyrics? "I'm going to live the life I sing about in my song" - Mahalia Jackson

30. If your life were a song, what would the title be? "Yes, I Talk Like This All the Time"

31. If you could sing a duet with anyone, who would it be? I really love Cecile McLorin Salvant at the moment.

32. Anderson Cooper or Andy Cohen? I want to make Cooper giggle. It's my ringtone and it would be nice to hear in person.

33. Favorite porcelain? 3 dog figurines I named after the Bronte Sisters.

34. To be or not to be? To be. Always.

35. What's RuPaul like in person? The most centered person I'd ever met. Ever.

36. Drag queen crush? Violet Chachki, Scarlett Envy, Aquaria, Naomi Smalls, April Carrion. (I really want to date a drag queen.)

37. Favorite Cher moment? Every single tweet. She's brilliant.

38. Favorite Housewife? Lucy Ricardo. (I know what you're asking, but I don't watch them and won't.)

39. Your Housewife tag line? I'm glad I have a job.

40. What's your spirit animal? Deer. In my dreams, I always have antlers. It's a thing.

41. Favorite after sex activity? Cuddling and laughs. I really like intimacy.

42. Best gift you've ever received? A lovely friend Jeffrey gave me a program from an Ella Fitzgerald concert, and it's stunning.

43. Last gift you gave a friend? I sent my friend a box of troll dolls. She loved it.

44. A person you want to have coffee with? Maggie Smith.

45. A historical figure you want to have coffee with? Tennessee Williams.

46. How do you like your coffee? I don't drink it. I don't drink anything hot. I'll have an iced tea.

47. Do you like your handwriting? I have beautiful penmanship. Strangers compliment me on it.

48. What's your favorite curse word? Fucking as a verb and adjective.

49. What's your favorite board game? Clue. I think I just like the house.

50. What would be the title of your autobiography? The stupid things I've done for dick.

51. Marry, fuck, kill: Barbra, Judy, Gaga Fuck-Judy, Marry- Barbra, Kill- Gaga.

52. If you could say one thing to Oprah, what would you say? I, too, LOVE BREAD!

53. Nicki or Cardi? Cardi.

54. What's your favorite city to visit? New Orleans. I go back pretty often.

55. What country do you wish to visit? I'd love to go to Spain currently. I think I'd do pretty well there.

56. Craziest gift a fan has given you? Oh, never crazy. But I get pot brownies a lot and I'm very grateful.

57. Top or bottom? Well, I'm a top, but bottoms are my favorite people in the world. (Again, I'm single.)

58. Funniest sexual experience? Oh gosh, I've had some bad ones. I might need to save them for the book.

59. Who should everyone be following right now? Me. I'm pretty funny.

60. What color dress would you wear to prom? Purple. Royal. Classic.

61. Diamonds or pearls? Pearls. They're remnants of irritation.

62. Least favorite word? Pleasure. It reminds me of Jane Austen villains.

63. Name something super overrated right now: How much time do you have? People don't understand the word "icon" anymore.

64. What do you think of when I say the words LADY GAGA? Very talented.

65. Favorite word to describe a person who sleeps around? Friend.

66. Bath or shower? Shower.

67. Best way to decompress? Getting stoned and listening to Sarah Vaughan.

68. If you had one superpower, what would it be? Flying. Always.

69. Describe an experience you felt most nervous: Readings of my work. I never get still. I pace.

For tickets to "Justin Sayre Makes the Case for America," head here.