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Life101: From the Outside In


Sometimes even a life coach needs a life coach

Every day I try to "do it right." Meditation, swim practice, yoga practice, journaling, daily affirmations... Then add to it the fact that I'm a Life Coach, and you might think that I just float through life on a breezy magic carpet ride. But the reality is, there are some days I feel like the Universe is conspiring to make all of my dreams come true, and other days it feels like everything is working against me and I should just throw in the towel. Like anyone else, I need help too.

Lately, the upward climb of building a small business has felt like a huge endeavor. It's the feeling that everything I am doing to propel myself forward in my career is falling flat, so naturally every other area in my life feels like a huge mess, too. (As always, these feelings are clearly based in very rational thinking.) Thankfully, I just had a call with my Life Coach.

After unloading about how life is too hard and nothing is going my way, I finally paused to take a breath and she started in with her questions and observations. She tells me things like, "It sounds like you're clinging to that standard and using it to beat yourself up. How can you take a different approach?" She has the ability to shift my focus from what isn't working to what is working, and push me to give myself credit for the progress I have made up to this point. (Somehow I can remember to do that for my clients, but occasionally forget how to do it for myself.)

Many of us think we have to do everything on our own, handle every big life decision and obstacle that comes our way, all with a smile on our face. I know I do. But, even with all of the things we can do to stay grounded, our emotions still have a way of going awry, taking our perspective along with them.

Maybe you have a weekly Zumba class, book club, or meditation meeting that offers you a different outlook on life. If so, then keep doing it! But, if you're like me, you may also need someone to challenge your thinking and your approach, and give you a little kick in the ass to get you back on the right track.

As someone who coaches others, it's taken me a long time to be able to admit that we (myself included) can all benefit from having help. Whether you're in the midst of a major life change or you just want to finish this year with more clarity and focus--a little outside perspective goes a long way.

John Kalinowski is an NYU-Certified Life Coach based in New York City. Follow him on Twitter: Visit his website:

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