Elaine Stritch (AKA the Grande Dame of Broadway, AKA Jack Donaghy’s mom, AKA the woman whom I hope to grow up to be) went on the Today Show this morning to promote her documentary Shoot Me. Now let’s examine this scene for a second. Stritch shows up in a fur hat and coat—because PETA can go pound sand—puts her feet up on Kathie Lee Gifford like she’s a two-dollar coffee table, and then proceeds not to give a shit.
Hoda and Kathie Lee do their usual Chardonnay fueled fawning session. "Elaine, you are so beloved," says a Kathie Lee who at this point is probably unable to legally get behind the wheel of a car. “As much for your work, but for your mouth. You know, you say whatever you want to say! Whenever did that all happen?"
“Whenever did that all happen?” I don’t know, Gifford, maybe you build up some raw nerve when you’re in show business for majority of the 20th Century. She did not take this crap from JFK and she’s not gonna take it from you.
Stritch says that it—presumably the ability to say “fuck” whenever you want—didn’t get “passed on television” and then says, like the bold lioness she is, "If you just say things naturally, it's fine! You know, they just think in fuck.”
BOOM! Elaine Stritch—Slappy the Squirrel incarnate—just said “fuck” on midmorning television and Hoda and Kathie Lee act as if she just opened the Ark of the Covenant and spit in it. Kathie Lee recoils—literally recoils—while Hoda Kotb holds her nose as if that’s gonna make it go away. Kathie Lee says that they bleeped it, but no they most certainly did not. That F-bomb dropped live.
Stritch, who was trying to make a point, before Tweedle-Dee and Tweedle-Drunk lost it, brings the conversation back on track and then throws shade at HBO. After playing a clip of Shoot Me, Hota and Kathie Lee try to wrap it up. No—just no; it’s over when Ms. Stritch decides that it’s over. Elaine throws in one more bon mot and when they try to cut her off, roars "You are not getting the last line in this morning's show!" Done. Hit the showers Kotb and Gifford.