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When Cats Mean Gay

Photo: Getty Images

How best to say someone kinda famous is gay when really, there's not absolute journalistic evidence that might be a defense against defamation, but you're so very, very, very sure he's a homo you just HAVE to say it?

Why, talk about his love for cats. For everyone knows that only crazy old ladies and gays have cats, right? So, it's just as well for the world's media that Jaroslaw Kaczynski, former Polish prime minister and the brother of the recently deceased Polish president, lives at home with his mother and, depending on the source, one cat called Alik, or a truly staggeringly large number of the animals.

The info was first aired by Doug Ireland, well know media critic, back in 2006, when he wrote, "Prime Minister Kaczynski, 56, is a bachelor who still lives with his mother in a house filled with an extraordinarily large number of cats."

Now, every time Jaroslaw's name comes up - usually in connection with his homophobic views (how unusual - a politician who hates gays and has a secret...), the cats quote is paraphrased in some manner like: "lives with their mother in a house full of cats,"; "...and contents himself to living with his mum and pet cat," reports; "...unmarried and lives with his mother and cat", confirms; "...still lives with his feline-loving mother" the New Internationalist online ventures; "...he said his only sleeping partner was Alik, his cat," says Wikipedia. And so on.

What would the media be reduced to if not for gay men's hopeless and obsessive addiction to cats? To fact-finding, that's what.

Mind you, Jaroslaw's a hopeless old bigot no matter what, so even if he IS straight we wish him no good.

Previously > Bolivian President Evo Morales claims chicken makes you gay

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Noah Michelson