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Project Runway: D-I-V-O-R-C-E

Speaking of Tim Gunn, he seems... what's a good Tim Gunn word... how about "vexed"... by pretty much everybody's garment. He sneers when one of them appears "lab coaty." He nearly gets the throw-up face when he has to use slang like "cougar" to describe one of the pieces. And he full-on almost vomits over the word "acetate." Then they cut back to Shirin while Tim comforts her anxiety attack. Her dress, one peacock feather haphazardly glue-gunned to its synthetic mockery of opposite-marriage, laughs at her. STOP MAKING SHIRIN CRY, DRESS!

In the end, because she got the most air time, Gordana's hand-dyed asymetrical sheath wins the challenge. Logan gets reamed for making pants with what seem to be built-in horizontal camel-toe pouches. But Epperson is sent packing thanks to what started as a lab coat but wound up as Heidi's past come back to haunt her. She uses "Oktoberfest" to describe not only his corset-y serving-frau costume, but Logan's too. You think this woman wants to be reminded of shit like Berlin Alexanderplatz and people soaking in lager and eating tons of animal by-products squeezed into a pig intestine? Answer: Nein.

Oh and "next week on..." promises Nina. We'll just see about that.


Previously >DWTS Gets Homo-tastic

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Noah Michelson