Mean Girls Smack Down! Marc Jacobs Vs. John Galliano

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NY Times fashion guru Eric Wilson overheard a conversation between fashion rivals Marc Jacobs and John Galliano last week while lunching at the Mercer Hotel that was more like a page from the Mean Girls script than idle chit chat! Isn't there some unspoken gay rule that you're not supposed to have more than one diva in a room at the same time? It's like having your Madonna and Cher dolls over for a slumber party at Barbie's Dream House. You just don't do it!

Here's what they boys said and what they really meant (sort of) while speaking in gay playground code...

"Hi, John!" Mr. Jacobs exclaimed. "How are you doing?"
(IN OTHER WORDS: Oh, it's you.)

"Good, nice to see you," Mr. Galliano said. "Oh, you've gone a little darker, I see."
(IN OTHER WORDS: Still letting your midlife crisis get the best of you, I see. You look like shit.)

"Navy!" Mr. Jacobs said. "Na-vy." (In my wildest fantasy, MJ punctuated each syllable with a snap!)
(IN OTHER WORDS Girl, you look like a cracked-out John Waters with that silly pencil-thin mustache above your lip! When was the last time you looked int he mirror?)

"Oh, that would be a little chicer," Mr. Galliano said. "Indigo!"
(IN OTHER WORDS: Miss Thang, you are so trashy! You couldn't look chic if you tried!)

"Well, if you ever feel like having tea or coffee, I'm sort of bedridden for a few days, so I can't move far," Mr. Jacobs said. "I had an operation."
(IN OTHER WORDS: I've got a whole team of plastic surgeons, nutritionists and personal trainers working on making this look hot! You're just jealous that all the fashion magazines actually want to photograph me in the birthday suit that God designed!)

"Oh really?"
(IN OTHER WORDS: Oh Really?)

"Sex change."
(IN OTHER WORDS: Girl, at least I don't look like a messy daytime drag queen on a hot day! Toodles!)