CONTACTStaffCAREER OPPORTUNITIESADVERTISE WITH USPRIVACY POLICYPRIVACY PREFERENCESTERMS OF USELEGAL NOTICE
© 2024 Pride Publishing Inc.
All Rights reserved
All Rights reserved
Scroll To Top
By continuing to use our site, you agree to our Private Policy and Terms of Use.
For only one week each year, a flat nothing desert in Nevada becomes a city of 50,000 citizens bent on radical self-expression, possibility, and limitless art. At the Burning Man festival, everyone is welcome everywhere. And I do mean everywhere.
Inside the sensual circus tent of camp Comfort & Joy men lie blissed out on pillows and cushions. On one side of the tent is a sign designating a place for Puddles, your courtesy bottom. This sign leaves me feeling both queasy and intrigued. Did I read it right? A courtesy bottom? By the name of Puddles?
Where was he? The idea of a courtesy bottom struck me as too, um, polite. Then again, the camp is called Comfort & Joy, and Burning Man is a cash-free culture based on gifting. Puddles, whoever he was, certainly embraced the spirit. Oddly, this realization made me feel cheap. All I brought were beads.
Burning Man sprouts out of the sand with temples, thunder domes, roller discos, and statues 10 stories tall. By night, deep-sea creatures and giant flame-throwing ducks cruise the playa. Beneath the big top at Comfort & Joy, you find dancing, body painting, sketching, snoring. In front of me two guys go at it, and I wonder, Could it be? Are they using protection? Is that -- Puddles?
Im dying to witness this newly discovered gay genus: the brazen bottom. Whats next? The discreet top? Tops have open license to nail anything that moves and shout their conquests from a mountain high. They get kudos and high fives because if a burly big daddy sires every last filly on the farm, thats one thing. (They call it a stud.) But a pass-around party bottom named Puddles? Thats quite another.
Friends chide other friends for being big ol pillow biters. Nancys. Bossy bottoms. The irony is that sexual roles, like sexuality, arent always apparent. Testosterone levels have nothing to do with preferred positions, and yet vestigial misogyny -- harmful and unnoticed -- invades like carbon monoxide. Consider the disappointment when a swishy perceived bottom gets taken home and turns out to be a raging total top. Or consider the waste of a big-dicked bottom. Certain among us have been so emasculated by their bottom/versatile natures that they deny it through false online advertising. Why the shame game? What is so funny?
Being a bottom, either complimentary or discerning, doesnt make anyone less of a man. Consider that bottoms prepare for and take on big challenges up to and including saving the world. I saw it happen. One day, during a sandstorm, I got swept up inside Comfort & Joy just in time to catch the Butthole Puppet Show. The production was called The American Ream and its performers were human genitalia. Dick Cheney was a suited-up penis. Bush was a bare ass shouting terrorism and freedom, and in between hed just fart.
Then, suddenly, Puddles! The fabled courtesy bottom entered amid much fanfare, including his very own theme song. The chorus was quite catchy: If youre horny or a loner, anyone with half a boner, call Puddles, the courtesy bottom!
Puddles was about 30, and though I never did see his face, he was not without sex appeal. His perky butt cheeks were drawn over with a large pair of eyes with long lashes, a dab of rouge for each dimple, and all capped with a vintage frill from the golden age of cinema. In short, Puddles was a dead ringer for Ginger Rogers.
He shuffled onstage, backside front, to accuse the Bush regime of cultural imperialism, ethnocentrism, and flushing the world with the American Ream. We cheered as Puddles threatened to banish the offenders. Who knew that the treasure palace of my ass is also a portal to another dimension!? he shrieked.
Astonishing. Would that be considered torture under the Geneva Convention? Puddless proposal might be unorthodox, but a bottom action hero is something of a newcomer to the world stage. In private bottoms are celebrated and empowered, but out in public they continue to be dismissed as laughable. Wimpy. As if they cant anally teleport.
I propose Bottom Pride. The hierarchy must end! Bottoms do everything tops do, except backward (high heels optional). Bottoms need to band together and take a vow of celibacy until they get nailed with respect. Lets rally support, raise awareness, march in parades, and crush sexual imperialism. As Puddles teaches, we can pass around the courtesy. It goes both ways.
JesseOntheBrink.comSend a letter to the editor about this article.
From Your Site Articles
From our Sponsors
Most Popular
41 male celebs who did full frontal scenes
September 16 2024 2:02 PM
39 LGBTQ+ celebs you can follow on OnlyFans
November 19 2024 9:39 AM
33 actors who showed bare ass in movies & TV shows
September 17 2024 5:43 PM
26 LGBTQ+ reality dating shows & where to watch them
December 10 2024 12:38 PM
21 times male celebrities had to come out as straight
November 19 2024 3:33 PM
17 queens who quit or retired from drag after 'RuPaul's Drag Race'
November 30 2024 12:26 AM
52 steamy celebrity Calvin Klein ads we'll always be thirsty for
August 27 2024 1:08 PM
15 things only bottoms understand
October 08 2024 5:18 PM
15 gay celebrity couples who make us believe in love
October 03 2024 5:43 PM
A gay adult film star's complete guide to bottoming
September 16 2024 8:50 AM
Latest Stories
These athletes came out as LGBTQ+ in 2024 (so far)
December 11 2024 5:02 AM
Happy Golden Globe nom, Cooper Koch! A celebratory thirst roundup
December 10 2024 7:26 PM
Nick Dumont: Coming out was 'one of the longest challenges' and 'most rewarding'
December 10 2024 6:38 PM
Meet newly out tennis pro Joao Lucas Reis da Silva
December 10 2024 5:04 PM
The twinks come on top in Pornhub's spicy stats for 2024
December 10 2024 2:15 PM
Look at the beautiful, uncensored men of Ron Amato's Provincetown
December 10 2024 2:08 PM
Meet Maven Maurer, the former pro football player who came out as trans
December 10 2024 12:47 PM
Ultimate 'Wicked' guide: Easter eggs, meanings, foreshadowing & future
December 10 2024 9:00 AM
What we know about CEO shooter suspect Luigi Mangione — and why the gays are captivated
December 09 2024 5:27 PM
16 gay NFL players who proved that LGBTQ+ athletes belong in football
December 09 2024 3:47 PM
TikToker reveals girthy results from his personal 'Grindr Wrapped' round-up
December 09 2024 3:35 PM
Victory for LGBTQ+ couples in landmark fertility coverage case
December 09 2024 3:25 PM