Rome vs. Greece

By Bob Smith

Mon, 2006-12-11 19:00

Sure, the ancient Greeks and Romans gave us the pillars of Western civilization: democracy, theater, and the bathhouse. But which culture was gayer? Out believes a cultures gayness is best measured by gossip overheard at the baths. We did some archaeological digging and came up with these steamy tidbits:

Overheard at the Greek bathhouse		Overheard at the Roman bathhouse

Alexanders great in battle, but in bed hes more of a spear-catcher than a spear-thrower, if you know what I mean. Last year it was golden retrievers; this year its three-headed dogs. My mother found this huge urn under my bed. It had pornographic depictions of god-on-man action. Achilles real weakness is that his heels are always in the air. That Cyclops is such a teasehe keeps winking at me. Dont let the muscles fool you. Theres a HER in Hercules for a reason. I wish the Olympics werent in the nude. It takes all the fun out of the locker room. Pythagoras has this theory about threesomes.		Veni, vidi, viciI came, I saw, I conqueredjust not in that order. He claims to be XII inches, but its more like IV! Caligula throws the worst orgies. Too many mortals, not enough gods. Hannibals gotten so fat. Talk about an elephant crossing the Alps! You have to visit our weekend place in Pompeii. You wont believe our view of Mount Etna. Lets face it. On Nero, a togas just a dress. Ill never date another gladiator. The sex was hot, but every time we had a fight it was to the death! According to Caesar, gay men make the best soldiers. Just point them at a country with great beaches and theyll conquer it!