Entertainment
CONTACTStaffCAREER OPPORTUNITIESADVERTISE WITH USPRIVACY POLICYPRIVACY PREFERENCESTERMS OF USELEGAL NOTICE
© 2024 Pride Publishing Inc.
All Rights reserved
All Rights reserved
Scroll To Top
By continuing to use our site, you agree to our Private Policy and Terms of Use.
I was dating a spectacular man, who often traveled for business. We saw each other about once a month. He had finally negotiated a permanent return to New Yorka coup in his fieldand I was looking forward to spending more time together, to finding out if this relationship had legs. This man was HIV+ and quiet about it for understandable professional reasons.
It was fall, and we had seen a dance concert at the Brooklyn Academy of Music, and then driven back into Manhattan to have dinner at my favorite Italian bistro, Bar Pitti. While dining, many memories of other evenings in this restaurant came flooding back. After a second of hesitation (as I remembered later), I told my date about a particularly poignant evening there about seven years earlier: It was January of 1996, I had been on an early HAART regimen for three months, and my T-cell count had hit 212. This was big to me. When I went on Crixivan after winning an early access lottery, with a T-cell count of 22, I had jokingly said to my doctor that "if my T-cells go above 200, Ill throw a party. It seemed an impossibility back in the fall of 1995, but had already occurred by January. So, I hosted a dinner for about 12 at Bar Pitti: my closest friends and my dad were there. The staff, who knew me, wondered what the occasion was, so I explained and they loved it.
My date sat in a tense silence. Then he got out through clenched teeth: I think it is disgusting that you would talk about this in a public place. I was stunned. We had an uncomfortable whispered conversation about it. We went out to my car, which had a parking ticket, and talked some more. The next morning he called to apologize for the tone of his reaction, but not for his beliefs about what is appropriate to discuss in a public place. Something was forever changed.
A colleague of mine, Eric Schneider, runs dating workshops for gay men: He stresses having a non-negotiables list. I had thought I didnt have any. Wrong. Very high on the list is living my life as an out man: gay, HIV+, whatever. I have been a guest on national TV and radio talking about my relationship with HIV/AIDS. I am out. And I cant be in a relationship with a man who is uncomfortable with any of that. If my public stance, professional and private, is too much for anyone, I am unwilling to change. At this point in my life, I wont go back into any closet
The man I am currently seeing is HIV-, and in a sensitive industry, but he respects my work and my professional persona enough to chance the possibility that someone might make a false assumption, labeling him as HIV+ by virtue of his relationship with an openly out HIV+ man. The other guy didnt pass the test, making it possible for me to meet someone who did.
Want more breaking equality news & trending entertainment stories?
Check out our NEW 24/7 streaming service: the Advocate Channel!
Download the Advocate Channel App for your mobile phone and your favorite streaming device!
From our Sponsors
Most Popular
38 Male Celebs Who Did Full Frontal Scenes
November 17 2023 5:18 PM
These are all the celebrities Who came out as LGBTQ+ in 2023
December 31 2023 12:19 PM
These Pics Prove Maluma Has Always Been a Certified Daddy
October 20 2023 1:13 PM
32 LGBTQ+ Celebs You Can Follow on OnlyFans
October 25 2023 3:15 PM
26 actors who showed bare ass in movies & TV shows
February 28 2024 1:50 PM
16 Times Celebrity Men Had to Say They Weren't Gay
February 29 2024 1:19 PM
15 Unforgettable Gay Kissing Scenes From TV & Movies
February 14 2024 10:20 AM
13 Queens Who Quit or Retired From Drag After 'RuPaul's Drag Race'
November 24 2023 10:11 AM
40 steamy celebrity Calvin Klein ads we'll always be thirsty for
January 04 2024 10:54 AM
The 15 Best LGBTQ+ Movies of 2023
December 04 2023 10:32 AM
Watch Now: Advocate Channel
Trending Stories & News
For more news and videos on advocatechannel.com, click here.
Trending Stories & News
For more news and videos on advocatechannel.com, click here.
Latest Stories
Sapphira Cristál just made herstory & broke an all-time 'Drag Race' record
March 22 2024 9:35 PM
Big Dipper apologizes for comments about giving potential hookups a false address
March 22 2024 4:40 PM
Who's the better 'Hunter,' Beefcake or Czech? This TikToker explores
March 22 2024 3:54 PM
Prohibition Wellness & revolutionizing self-care for all
March 22 2024 1:19 PM
21 LGBTQ+ TV shows we loved that only lasted one season
March 22 2024 11:53 AM
March 22, 2024
March 22 2024 11:49 AM
Did Lukas Gage just apologize to Shania Twain for 'unhinged' wedding to Chris Appleton?
March 22 2024 11:49 AM
Did Nicholas Galitzine just soft launch his girlfriend? Here's what the internet thinks
March 22 2024 11:43 AM
These brand new 'Wicked' cast images have us excited AF for the movie
March 21 2024 4:21 PM
Colton Haynes reveals which 'Teen Wolf' cast member he'd hook up with
March 21 2024 4:13 PM
8 dating tips for gay men from a gay psychotherapist
March 21 2024 3:23 PM
Mother! 15 iconic pictures of RuPaul throughout the years
March 21 2024 2:53 PM
Unleash your fiery spirit with The Pride Store’s Aries gift guide
March 21 2024 2:08 PM
Jake Gyllenhaal's sweaty new workout video is making the gays go absolutely feral
March 21 2024 1:21 PM
Virginia professor found dead at gay men's sauna after vanishing from conference
March 21 2024 1:09 PM
Jordan Firstman declares it's 'bi bottom spring' & we're ready to bloom
March 21 2024 11:50 AM
RuPaul, Out's cover star, is ready to be a role model
March 21 2024 11:01 AM
Lukas Gage says a 'manic episode' led to his marriage to Chris Appleton
March 21 2024 10:37 AM