10 Ways to Tell if Your Child is a G.I.T. (Gayboy in Training)

1. The first word out of his mouth is fabulous. 2. Your vintage Mary Poppins tape keeps disappearing. (Note: Early Julie Andrews infatuation is a reliable test of queerness for both boys and girls.) 3. He burst into tears when Julia Child died. 4. Hes not only playing dress-up in womens clothes (and what are they doing in your closet?), he already has a drag name. 5. When you watch Tarzan with him, he asks why the nice man never carries little boys in his arms. 6. He begs you to take him to get his hair cut more often. 7. Teachers describe him as sensitive. 8. Hes learning to knit. 9. He really enjoys the ballroom dancing class his Aunt Tessie signed him up for. 10. He has to tell you to straighten up your room.