Miss Piggy: Gay Talk-Show Trollop
By Mike Berlin
Yesterday, it seemed like you couldn't shake a remote control without hitting a certain porcine diva.
Miss Piggy, who's practically an honorary editrix at Out, made the rounds on the gay talk-show circuit, popping up first at Anderson to force His Silverness to experiment with an assortment of fetching wigs (yes, it was so uncomfortable!) and then surprising a Real Housewitch on Andy Cohen's Watch What Happens Live. Needless to say, she was impeccably outfitted and bewigged, wryly witty, and certainly not afraid to go there.
And go there she did, first ordering a tray of wigs into the Anderson studio, where Cooper grimaced and cautiously felt them as if they would inexplicably implode, before putting on a Dirk Diggler-esque '70s shag look that verged on mid-life lesbian:
Meanwhile, over on The Andy Cohen Drunk Variety Moment, a Real Housewench from the County Orange was drowning her sorrows in back-talking, in light of a recent altercation where some man impersonating Jason Preston compared her to Miss Piggy. After playing a clip of said HW getting mad—so angry, in fact, that her exoskeleton began to crack, almost fully revealing the tiny, red hag strapped up to a series of levers and pulleys operating her elaborate, expensive MILF costume—Cohen, with his devilish I-know-something-you-don't-know smile introduced a surprise guest:
Yes! Miss Piggy just compared herself to the Venus de Milo, and we love her for that and agree blindly. Next, Cohen dispatched his henchpig to grill the crone-in-wife's-clothing on her other cast members. It doesn't really mattered how she answered the questions, because, ultimately, they are of no (perhaps even negative) consequence. (Perhaps you may even consider muting the video when you hear a shrill cawing noise?) But the clip gives you another chance to further examine the majestic Muppet's straightened hair look versus the flaxen curls present for her daytime appearance. Very night and day, no?