The Comeback�s Valerie Cherish

7.30.2006

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We adore Valerie, the star of HBO's 'reality' series The Comeback, which followed her life as she climbed back up the rungs of Hollywood's slippery ladder. In fact, some woman named Lisa Kudrow got an Emmy nomination for the show. With the DVD of the series hitting shelves August 1st, we lunged at the opportunity to speak with the woman herself, Valerie Cherish.

Valerie, it was grueling work, but you took up yoga and even appeared on the cover of Be Yoga. How about posing for the cover of Out?

I can't comment on the Be Yoga cover as I am still in litigation over a severely pinched nerve in my neck, but I would love to do the cover of a big magazine like Out. Thank you! Who should I have my gay publicist, Billy, call? Oh! Maybe the Christmas issue! How cute would that be'in a green dress with my red hair sitting on the lap of a sexy Santa. But not too sexy, he should have clothes on. I think 'sexy' is mostly a state of mind, don't you?

Absolutely. When the network recruited the vertically challenged Charla from The Amazing Race to assist you and spice up your reality show, things ended badly. Have you made up with the 'Littlest Assistant'?

I have had no contact with Charla since her reality show was canceled and she disappeared from the face of television.

What's the update on your loyal gay confidant and hairstylist, Mickey? Is he more comfortable with his sexuality now?

Um, well, as much as I love you for asking about my Mickey, I don't feel comfortable speaking about his sexual preferen'I'm mean 'orientation.' Um, that's the correct word now, right? Yes, I'm pretty sure it is. I remember reading about that in Time magazine. See, I have to keep abreast of all current trends. You have to when you're in the public eye. Now back to Mickey'um, I wouldn't want to speak for him. A person's personal life is their own business and no one, no matter how big of a celebrity, has the right to speak out of turn. And besides, I wouldn't want to take a misstep on this exclusively gay Web site. 'Cause you know he'll see it.

There was a lot of tension between you and the infamous Paulie G., one of the writers for Room and Bored. When he made a rude comment about you while you were dressed as a giant cupcake, you punched him in the gut and made him throw up his lunch'then you threw up! Here's the question we've been dying to ask: Have you and Paulie G. patched things up?

Paulie is Paulie. He is what he is. And I am what I am. And great artists sometimes butt heads. We haven't talked in a while as Room and Bored is on an extended hiatus, but when I get that call from the network, any day now, to 'suit' up'running suit, that is'I know that we'll both put all that bad blood behind us. It happened, it's over: That's the way the cupcake crumbles. Cute, huh? 'Cause I was referencing the cupcake from the finale.

Cute as a button. Valerie, you were not only playing Aunt Sassy for the sitcom Room and Bored, but also yourself for the reality series about your comeback. Where do you think you had more luck restoring your celebrity status? Do you think the camera captured the real Valerie Cherish? Who is the real Valerie Cherish?

Well, the real Valerie Cherish is answering these challenging questions! You know, once you're lucky enough to be on TV, you have celebrity status! You know? Room and Bored and The Comeback just remind people that you are a celebrity' but the real Valerie is more than just a celebrity. She's a wife, a working girl, she cares about people's problems. You know, the problems the world is aware of. The big global things, that put me in the public eye, so I can' teach! So I can teach people about those problems because, yes, I'm a celebrity. But a celebrity who cares. I'm also a stepmother.

How would you respond to someone saying you're 'over' or that you're a 'clueless has-been'? Do you think you're still 'it'?

Well, I don't know if I'm 'it' but I'm certainly 'something.' Right? I still exist, I hope! [Laughs] No, there are so many'unfortunate people, uh'they like to look at the negative and use words like over and has-been. I think that's a sad way to live, really.

You coined one of our favorite catchphrases of last year: 'I don't want to see that!' Do you plan on marketing the phrase? We're thinking T-shirts, mugs, lunchboxes, toilet seat covers, even a talking Valerie Cherish doll.

I would love a doll! Wouldn't that be cute? As long as they get the hair right. I've seen those Linda Evans or Farrah Fawcett-Majors dolls and the hair always looks fake and colored and synthetic. The Valerie Cherish doll should have relaxed, flowing, natural red hair'like mine.

When your Room and Bored cast member Shayne, who's a devoted Christian, told you she doesn't think Jesus approves of reality shows, you disagreed. Do you still think Jesus believes in reality TV?

I think Jesus must believe in a lot of things, but I wouldn't feel comfortable speaking for him on this Web site. Not this Web site particularly, I mean any Web site. But I can say this: I think Jesus must believe in me. Look how well I'm doing! My DVD is about to be released August 1st. Gosh, I hope He believes in DVDs. [Laughs]

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