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5 Predictions for Tonight's Game of Thrones Finale

5 Predictions for Tonight's Game of Thrones Finale

5 Predictions for Tonight's 'Game of Thrones' Finale

Winter is here, bitches!

This season of Game of Thrones has certainly been a roller coaster, and not always a good one. While season seven brought together characters we've wanted to see share the screen for years, confirmed fan theories, and contained massively shocking developments in the fantasy saga, the plot has increasingly felt as though it's coming at the expense of good storytelling and filmmaking. Episodes in the recent season have contained plot developments that would have been stretched out over entire seasons in years past. I have a sinking feeling that, once the show is finished, season seven might measure up as one of the weakest in terms of quality.

Be that as it may, I am as fanatically devoted to Game of Thrones as ever and am eagerly anticipating tonight's finale. Since the show ran out of book material, I have been hesitant to make any predictions on what might be coming, but the storytelling has become so obvious that it seems like there are at least five things that absolutely have to happen in the supersized 80-minute episode.

1. The wall is coming down. You don't introduce fire breathing dragons and ice zombies if at some point the fire breathing dragons aren't going to spew fire at the ice zombies, as happened in last week's episode. Similarly, you don't have a towering, magical unbreakable wall that protects the realm from said ice dragons if at some point it's not going to come crashing down. Now that the Night Kind has his undead dragon (RIP Viserion), I am 150% sure that the season finale will end with the Others using their new toy to break down the wall and finally invade Westeros. Winter is here, bitches!

2. Shit will come to a head at Winterfell. The Winterfell storyline has been the weakest part of this season for me. At first it was exhilarating and emotional to see the Starks reunite, to see Arya show off her Faceless Man skills, to see everyone try to awkwardly inch away from Bran. But in the past weeks it's been so frustrating to see years of Arya and Sansa's character development be undone as Littlefinger played them against each other. There are plenty of people on the internet theorizing that they are in fact setting Baelish up in return, and are only squabbling for show, and I truly hope this is what's really going on. Either way, something is going down at Winterfell tonight.

3. Cleaganebowl. For years book readers have waited for the rumored battle between the Clegane brothers -- the Hound and the now undead Mountain -- to take place. Based on the trailer shots of the Hound in battle and the fact that he is currently traveling with the characters who will be meeting Cersei and Jamie in King's Landing tonight, it seems likely that this epic brawl will finally come to pass.

4. Cersei's pregnancy will be revealed as fake. There is no way Cersei is actually pregnant. First of all, there's the prophecy that predicted she would have three children who would all die, which has already come to pass. Secondly, Cersei is an evil, lying hoe! She saw that Jamie's loyalty was wavering and wanted something to bind him to her, and a baby will do that every time. I'm betting that the lie's revelation is at least part of what makes Jamie turn on his sister-wife. The odds that he'll also kill her for the good of the kingdom, as he did to the Mad King, are pretty high. I have a feeling that Cersei's fate will be decided tonight once and for all so that next season can focus on the threat of the Others, but we'll see.

5. Daenerys and Jon will get it on. Yay, more incest! It's obvious from the end of last week's episode that the hottest aunt/nephew couple in Westeros are just about ready to admit their feelings for each other. As this season has been woefully lacking in sex, I'm hopeful that tonight is the night -- and believe me, I never thought I'd be hopeful about incest. Will their coupling result in a Targaryen baby, like everyone seems to think it will? If Cleganebowl does indeed happen and the Mountain is defeated, it could mean that the prophecy that Dany will not bear children "until mountains blow in the wind like leaves" will be fulfilled and a baby dragon will be on it's way -- I honestly don't think the question of Dany's successor and her emphasis that she will never have children would have been hammered home as much the past few episodes if this wasn't in the cards.

No matter what happens, there's no doubt that this season finale is going to be shocking and game-changing -- my nipples are hard just thinking about it.

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