You know, there are moments when Twitter really reminds me what a weird, kooky family we all are. There I was last night, haplessly sauteing some vegetables while streaming the GOP debate, and out of the corner of my eye, I caught a glimpse of a very pretty man. So pretty that I even forgot for a second that he was Republican, and that maybe -- just maybe -- we could have a future together one day.
It turns out I wasn't alone. All you little creepy critters were online as well and trending the hell out of the hashtag #HotDebateGuy. At first, I felt a sort of jealousy. He's mine, I thought to myself. Back off, you fools!
Then, when I awoke this morning, as if the universe had peered into my lustful dreams, the #HotDebateGuy's identity was revealed! It turns out my potential future husband's name is Gregory Caruso. The 24-year-old guy is the son of California real estate billionaire Rick Caruso, a former USC football player and aspiring filmmaker.
It warmed me -- it really did -- to think of the impeccable sleuthing that some very savvy, very passionate, and extremely determined people went through in the late hours of the night to uncover this information. Here are people who might even be more creepy than me on the Internet!
Although, it appears Gregory (we're on a first name basis, right, Gregory? Or do you prefer Greg? Because, let me tell you, I could make one hell of a Dharma) doesn't have Facebook, Twitter, or Instagram accounts. But he does seem like the sort of guy who'd have a LinkedIn...and would actually use it. (I've since scoured the Internet, and I can't find a Linkedin profile either, but I did find what I think is his Imdb page, so there's that.)
This is why I love Twitter, and really the Internet in general. I'm sure when the Internet was created, they knew this is what it would be used for.
"It's pretty hilarious," he told CNN. "Social media can focus on some guy at the debate instead of the debate."
"I think out of everyone, [Jeb Bush] improved the most from the first debate," he added. "Carly Fiorina did a great job and was in her element. That was the highlight of the debate to watch her. She held her own."
Turns out, he's a fan of both Ronald Reagan and George W. Bush, and that he shaved for the debate occasion, because here's a photo of him with some nice facial scruff.
Photo thanks to his Indiegogo campaign photo.