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Morrissey Nabs 'Bad Sex in Fiction' Award

Morrissey Nabs 'Bad Sex in Fiction' Award


‘The pained frenzy of his bulbous salutation.’ No, just no.

Morrissey's List of the Lost, which received overwhelmingly negative reviews almost across the board, isn't gonna win a Man Booker anytime soon, but hey, it did receive an prize yesterday: The Bad Sex Award.

Morrissey's debut novel--it's really a novella at under 120 pages--tells the story of four Boston relay runners who get cursed by an old man in the woods--seriously--and features some truly atrocious sex scenes.

A scene involving Ezra, one of the athletes, and his girlfriend, Eliza, is so bad, that it made List of the Lost an instant favorite to win the dubious honor.

The scene in question reads:

"At this, Eliza and Ezra rolled together into one giggling snowball of full-figured copulation, screaming and shouting as they playfully bit and pulled at each other in a dangerous and clamorous rollercoaster coil of sexually violent rotation with Eliza's breasts barrel-rolled across Ezra's howling mouth and the pained frenzy of his bulbous salutation extenuating his excitement as it whacked and smacked its way into every muscle of Eliza's body except for the otherwise central zone."

Anais Nin it's not. And if anybody you're with calls it his "bulbous salutation," you should kick him out of bed and call the cops.

[h/t Attitude]

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