Um, Have You Heard of 'Haul Videos'?

Usually when I get into the office in the morning, our copy editor Mike Berlin has sent me a ton of useless links to random news stories about Rebekah Brooks, YouTube videos of weird indie bands that make music from empty cans or something, and a slew of other useless pop culture randomness. It's then my job to survey them and feign interest (common reply: LOL! or STFU, grrrl). But, ho!, what have we here?

This morning, Mr. Berlin sent me some links to these things called "haul videos." Have you heard of them? If you have, go about your day as usual, but if you haven't, boy-oh-boy are you in for a treat.

At its essense, these are videos where someone who lives in a suburban area goes to the local strip mall, blows a large portion of their hard-earned money (most likely secured via waiting tables at the local Applebee's) and then sits in front of their computer and tells you about what they bought in great, great detail.

At first, this seemed uninteresting and just a little bit tragic, but I quickly became sucked into this truly bizarre phenomenon and have now enveloped myself in it like a warm, wonderful blanket. Most of the time the stars of these mini infomercials are youngish girls with thick, cakey make-up and a closet full of clothes fresh from the halogen-lit aisles of Charlotte Russe, pulling out the most quotidien wares from their plastic shopping bags (has no one told them about reusable totes, yet?!) and waxing poetic over them.

Imagine someone well over the age of 14 regaling you with the wonders of eyeshadow and you'll begin to understand the wonders of this modern marvel. But don't worry--gay men have also joined the ranks of the tween obsession and have started posting their very own haul videos, which, as you can imagine, are just as fascinating, if not more so. I'm posting my favorite one below, but believe me, there are many, many more where this came from. Consider this my holiday present to you.