The Bourne Priapism

We get it: When you go on Jimmy Kimmel, you gotta show off that you're a studly man. Try to impress Jimmy with your prowess and all. But why did Jeremy Renner (who always wants to be studly) decide it was a good idea to discuss the Bone Ultimatum on live television?

As he explains, "So I take a little sleeping pill, pop it and realize nothing's happening - but something else was happening."

The set up to get there is AWKWARD. I mean, tortured. But here's the payoff: Turns out he hadn't taken an Ambien, nope it was Viagra--given to him by a friend (in case you're wondering). Simple mistake, right? What? Is this 1999?

"Not only did I not sleep the entire flight," he explained. "I was...camping was happening."

What happened when he got up? "There was no walking," he tells Kimmel, who is loving it but a little confused why a dude would be so dumb. "If I had to go to the restroom, it was so embarrassing. I was really embarrassed."

Oh, and he says he was playing with Dennis Hopper's daughter while he had a hard-on, and the flight crew were joking with him. And what did he ask for? "Ice! Ice!" And an aspirin?

Kimmel tries to explain that asking for aspirin wouldn't help. Renner? "Give me a hammer."

Yeah, maybe cute cudly Jeremy does need to get a good night's sleep. If only he didn't have that damn roommate always keeping him up at night.