There was a time when Patrick Swayze was a grade-A hottie, Demi Moore hadn't yet heard of Ashton Kutcher, and Whoopi Goldberg rocked (oh, that's right, she still does). Those days were special, because it was the nineties and the Internet was still in its infantile stages and therefore people had to make up original stories and show them to people in these things called movies. Now, we look to that magical time and blatantly rip off those stories and then make them into mediocre Broadway musicals. Yay for America! The next movie that is going to be masticated and then regurgitated onto a stage near you is the 1990 classic Ghost. This gives us a case of the sads, because we like that movie for being romantic, suspenseful, and funny--the stage show promises to be just funny, and not on purpose. We also appreciate any movie where people have lofts in Soho, computers were still just confusing machines with glowing green text on a black background, and Whoopi wins an Academy Award for Best Supporting Actress for a comedic performance. Below is the trailer for Ghost: The Musical. Out editors, start your snarking!
Molly, we're all in danger.
-Adam Rathe, Senior Editor
Could they not get the rights to Demi Moore's haircut? I mean, that was the real star of the movie.
-Annie Chia, Photo Director
I'm baffled as to why Whoopi Goldberg's character is not featured more prominently in this trailer, as if she isn't the best part of the film. And while we're on the topic of exhuming film corpses from the year 1990, Flatliners is a much riper subject for a flagrant musical rip-off.
-Mike Berlin, Copy Editor
I hope they make that pottery wheel scene real hardcore. Maybe he could help her make a sex toy out of clay?
-William Van Meter, Features Editor
This is what I like to call a Communist conundrum. On paper, this looks like a great idea. I love a musical, and I love this movie, therefore this shold be what Martha Stewart would call, "a good thing." But alas, this trailer is so, deeply wrong. I'm both embarassed for and by this situation.