Federally Funded Study: Size Matters

A study investigating how a gay man's penis size affects his sexual and emotional health, which -- much to the chagrin of conservative activists -- was partially funded by the federal government, has taught straight people a few things that gay people already knew.

The National Institutes of Health (NIH) put its money where our mouths are (bad joke) and backed some research that led to a 2009 report titled, "The Association Between Penis Size and Sexual Health Among Men Who Have Sex with Men." Among the not-so-startling insights revealed by this research include that gay men with small dicks are more likely to be bottoms whereas gay men with big dicks are more likely to be tops.

And get this: If you have an average-sized penis you're probably "versatile." Yawn.

The study also reported that gay men with smaller-than-average penises were more likely than their horse-hung countertops counterparts to have psychological problems. (Challenge: name one person you've met who doesn't have psychological problems.)

While we're not happy that some groups are whining and complaining probably for the sole reason that the study was for gay men, we do kind of see the point that maybe tax dollars should be asking questions that are a bit more, um, penetrating.

What do you think? Was the study a waste of funds or way functional?

--JUSTIN JANNISE

Previously > Taking the Emmy Nominees' Gay Temperature

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