Last night wasn't advertised as double-elimination, but that's exactly what happened: Tom Delay had enough votes to remain in the competition, but he pulled out because of his two broken feet (though he was invited back to Texas two-step for the finale, so we will have to suffer through him dancing at least one more time).
But would DWTS let this be the sole elimination for the week? Oh no, we're still going to count the votes and boot off a loser! It is imperative to continue stomping on the egos of the semi-famous. And this week's is Debi Mazar. Ol' Muppet-skirt never could quite pull it together and was too tense to make her dancing fun to watch. Her professional partner, Maksim Chmerkovskiy, who last season danced with Denise Richards and got eliminated within the first couple weeks, is on the phone with his agent right now insisting that next year he get paired with an Olympic athlete. (Cheryl Burke, on the other hand, is relieved to be sleeping in this morning.) But let's not remember their failures -- let's re-live their dance performance last night to Queen Latifah, looking fine in those shiny leggings.
-- A. RAYMOND JOHNSON
Previously > DWTS Gets Homo-tastic