So she thinks she can dance: Katie Holmes announced that she was going to appear on the 100th episode of So You Think You Can Dance on July 23. Does she really think this will make her less of a laughingstock than she already is? This ain't the way to gain credibility, sweets.
Sperm in a dish: Brit scientists claimed that they have created human sperm from stem cells. It just seems that there's an easier (and more fun!) way to get sperm. You know. The natural way.
And Billboard is officially irrelevant: Yes, we're all sick of the Michael Jackson coverage. But lost to most among all the hand-wringing and the people popping out of the woodwork is the fact that Jackson is breaking sales records. Yet Billboard, for the past two weeks, has refused to tweak its arbitrary and arcane rules about older albums being listed on the main album chart. So MJ won't appear on the Top 200, which will be ruled by Now That's What I Call Music! 31. Now 31 sold 169,000 copies, while Jackson's Number Ones sold 339,000. Shouldn't #1 be #1 regardless of all other factors?
Boldly going where no channel: The Sci-Fi Channel debuted its new brand, SyFy, and the world shrugged in indifference.
At least Augustus Gloop survived: A man in Camden, N.J., fell into a vat of melted chocolate and died Wednesday morning. I'm guessing he drowned? Whatever the exact cause of death, you gotta admit, if you have to go, there are worse ways...