She then got off the phone and called her son who was somewhere in Germany and, from what I could gather, was having a hard time with his life. He had been living with his ears filled with tubes (at least I think that's what she said? Or maybe his fears were filled with boobs?) and she assured him that a trip to Munich would energize him because "Energy doesn't come from resting. Healing comes from resting -- energy comes from seeing and doing beautiful things." As much as I wanted to hate her, I kind of liked that and decided that since she was ridiculous, totally delusional and probably hated her life 98% of the time, at the very least she had one very inspiration saying she could trot out now and again -- even if it was of the Dr. Phil variety -- and that's worth holding onto.
Since Zurich is hosting EuroPride 2009, I expected that as soon as I arrived I would be swarmed by hunky blond men in Speedos but, sadly, that wasn't the case. I made it to my hotel, checked in, grabbed a shower, and headed back out into the city. The rest of my press group doesn't arrive until tomorrow, so I have today and tonight to see the sights by myself.
The city is gorgeous. Very typically European with trams and cafes and guys in their 20s wearing really crazy jeans (what is it with Europe and its crazy jeans? Who thought it was a good idea to put neon green hand prints parading from the ass down the leg to the ankle on a pair of jeans? And who then approved that idea? And who then executed that design? And who then decided to sell those jeans in their store? And who then decided to plunk down PS60 for them? Wouldn't you think somewhere in that chain someone would have said "The fabric paint stops here!") There is a canal (or is it a river?) running through the middle of Zurich and the water is unbelievably clean. Even more unbelievable are the swans that are bobbing in it. I have my suspicions that the queers running EuroPride shipped those suckers in for the weekend -- it's just a little too fairy tale. The streets are lined with rainbow flags and it feels like the city is just waiting for tomorrow when thousands of queers will rush in and have their way with Zurich (and each other).
I found two lovely Swiss dykes working at the EuroPride info tent and they gave me a map and a program and they suggested a few events for me to check out tonight. I'm not usually the kind of guy who goes to a bar alone, but my friend Seth (the Senior Market Editor at Out) told me to check out Cranberry, so we'll see what happens. And that's where this dispatch ends. I'm at an Internet cafe and the keyboard is totally wonky -- none of the keys are in the right place (especiallz difficult is the fact that the z and y keys are switched, giving mz tzping an instant swiss accent whether I want one or not) and I give up.