The trouble with tattoos

For as long as I can remember, I've always wanted a tattoo. Since I started pestering my mom about getting inked when I was 14, she's threatened to a) instantly suffer a full on foaming-at-the-mouth-seizure and then b) refuse to have anything to do with me once she's recovered.

Now that I'm old enough to know she's just being dramatic (I think?) and smart enough to get the tattoo somewhere she'll never have to see it, I'm considering taking the big plunge. Sure, it's permanent -- and that's kind of scary. But I'm banking on the fact that I'll a) love my tattoo I'd never want it removed and b) in 10 years scientists will probably have developed some kind of baby wipe that'll easily get rid of unwanted ink.

If only we had that technology now -- I'm guessing that the folks in this ridiculous slideshow featured on the UK Telegraph's site might want to partake. From a freshly sheared Britney Spears to two pegauses humping (while one smokes a cigarette and a rainbow cascades behind them) these are some of the worst tattoos out there. But who am I to judge? The pixelated Super Mario Bros clouds I want to get on my ribs are probably total nightmare fuel for the guy who got the Alf tattoo.

-- NOAH MICHELSON

Previously > It's summer, season of ridiculous shoes